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The Return of the Skylark after the Hurricane -The Mountain Stands Strong

Life has many ups and downs. Some more down than up, but one thing is clear – every dilemma, every crisis, every mistake, every downfall is an opportunity for learning. It all depends on your perspective.

When one is in the midst of the hurricane, one cannot see the sky. One cannot see the blue of the canopy, or the pink or yellow of the setting sun. One can only see and feel the screaming gale and the thrashing rain. The Fall of the Old Life is beginning. And it is a dreadful place to be.

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However, during the midst of the storm we forget it is passing. It can take several storms, and several hurricanes, to get to this point in time, the time when we change beyond recognition. It takes the Mother of All Storms to reach a point in life where we crawl out of the sea, or the wreckage of our own lives, wondering who and what we are. But this is the First Day. The New Day. For after we have endured the death of the Old Self, we have been given the gift of the Second Life. This Second Life, we are changed and nothing can ever be the same. But, my Dear Human, this is not a change to be feared or resisted. The Second Life offers us that which we denied ourselves in the First. We get to begin again, and set a course of our own choosing.

One of the main things that we experience is what we are willing to accept. We have faced and endured the death of the Old Self. This needed to happen. It was painful, dark and often lonely. But the dark can only give us more appreciation of the light. Our perspectives change, our preferences change. What matters to us and what doesn’t changes. What we hold to be of value changes. What we bring through into the Second Life is of great importance because it is of great value – we treasured it enough to hold onto despite the storm trying to tear it from our grasp. Our hold, and our faith and our desire to keep those things close regardless of the tempest’s fury, was worth holding on to.

We also learn that what we thought makes us does not. The outside world, society, people, have their own opinions and thoughts about what makes us – a man, a woman, a good individual, a bad individual. There are roles placed upon us by others and, for the most part, we feel the need to fulfil those roles, or live up to them in some way, and sometimes that need is deep and powerful and calls upon our instincts. But it does not make us. It does not make us who we are, and does not define us, nor does not fulfilling that role define us either. We choose our roles in life and, to some degree, we can be influenced by others because of shame, or guilt or obligation. But to feel we need to take on roles that we do not desire nor had planned for ourselves is not being authentic to our true self and we can often pay a terrible price for living a lie.

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You see, my Dear Human, your soul, your being, your character, your integrity, values, interests and how you treat others is what defines you, not your gender or your station in life. You are not defined by others. You can only define yourself. We can say we are successful, high-flying and wealthy, but how often do we say we are good, generous, funny or kind? Too often the good things we feel about ourselves or what others say about us are dismissed because one simply cannot accept one can possess those qualities for reasons only the heart knows.

But the world is still kind and good and just. It is still beautiful and the mountain still stands strong after the hurricane has passed overhead. But parts of it have gone – the old, weather-worn sides and the dead wood. New growth springs anew. New life, new ideas, new concepts. The mountain still stands but is forever changed by the storm, but not in the way you expect. No, nothing will ever be the same again, but the world is viewed with fresh eyes, with a deeper understanding of how things are, of why things are. Sometimes the storms come and we must endure them. Sometimes things happens but we are not meant to know why. But the inside of the mountain remains unmoved. Some may disapprove of its new appearance, but they cannot know the heart and mind of it, or why it is; why it chooses to grow bristle-cone pine instead of Scots or cedar. But the opinions and criticisms of those who do not know what storms it has weathered are of no concern. It matters not, only that it stands and will continue to do so regardless of what the fox or the deer might say.

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The mountain weathers the storms, is changed by them but does not crumble. It is not defined by them nor by what attaches itself to it or what others use it for. It is a thing of nature. It is what it is. It defines itself. It is strong in its core. Veins of silver and gold run through it. It is made of crystal and granite. No storm can bring it down.

And the skylark sings overhead after the storm has passed.

The Mountain and the Fire Inside it.

Unbroken. Undefeated. Unconquered.

Yours Under the Sacred Oaks

Imeldra Moonpaw

Do Grimalkins Dream? (Part 2) – Back to the Future – Creating Your Own Reality

In this blog I want to discuss the subject of lucidity (lucid dreaming) and the power to create our own realities within and without.

As I have already mentioned in Part 1 of this blog, dreams can be powerful tools to create our own realities, solve problems, heal, and gain inspiration, get ideas and a whole host of other things that aid personal and spiritual growth. Let’s not forget, we are not just physical beings; we are mental, emotional and spiritual entities that require space to grow and expand our awareness and our dreams are an essential part of this process, even the bad ones. Sometimes we can even see beyond our own realities into those of others and beyond that still.

Lucid dreaming is not some magical skill only a few can do. We may hear a lot about lucid dreaming and how powerful and mind-altering it can be. But it is a perfectly natural occurrence and one that can be learned by anyone. While there are many books and tutorials on how to learn this skill, there is a simpler way and one I found out completely by accident. I had not even heard of the term ‘lucid dreaming’ until after I had experienced several of them and, even then, I happened across the term by pure accident. Accident or intelligent design? We shall see.

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One morning, I had a very vivid dream. It was so vivid I decided to write it down. I went back to the dream in my journal and read it over again, trying to remember every detail. A little while later, I had another. I wrote that down too, making sure I recorded as much as I could about it. I consciously remembered each dream if I could, even if they were just small snatches or fragments and not full dreams, for it is the process of actively remembering and recalling them that builds the connection between the waking mind and the place where dreams are made. The more I wrote down dreams and details, the more lucid dreams I had until they became a regular occurrence, and became more detailed, deep and life-changing. In some dreams I even found myself dreaming of the future and of events I had no knowledge of until later. This happens often.

I will start by describing a dream I had only last week, which I think describes the nature of the lucid dream, to my understanding;

I am standing at a busy junction/crossroads, somewhere like New York, a busy American city. It is a hot summer day, July or August. The heat shimmers up from the road, blurring all that is going on around me. Everything is moving super-fast – the traffic, the people – and I turn on the spot, not able to focus on anything all. Suddenly, an image of the DeLorean time machine from Back to the Future comes into my mind. I turn back to the junction/crossroads and there it is, its right gull-wing door open and engine purring in the still summer heat. I hear a voice not of this world say in my left ear:

“You thought of it, now you’ve got it.”

The DeLorean is still as stone while the carousel of people and cars go by. It is waiting. It is waiting for me to get in. I knew if I did it would take me to where I wanted, or needed, to go without me asking it to. There is no need to engage the Flux Capacitor or turn the Time Circuits on, for it KNOWS what I require of it. It cannot go back to the past, that has gone. It can only go forward. Back to the Future.  Do I stand here, or do I get in and be the mistress of my own destiny?”

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The DeLorean is a symbol created by the dream for dreams speak in metaphors. Back to the Future is one is my favourite films. I have a diecast model DeLorean on my desk. But it is the concept of time here that is important, and the ability to look at one’s own life and make a conscious decision to change things, change one’s future as Marty McFly and Doc Brown did by the end of the trilogy. The lucid dream is the unconscious way of changing the inner world so that the outer world can make sense of the message and take action accordingly. But why these symbols? Why the DeLorean and why a busy New York junction?

The dream is an extension of you and so, when you dream, you talk to yourself. You are giving yourself visual clues as to what needs to happen in order to progress. Things in my environment are jumbled and a bit tangled right now and so I need to make decisions about where I need to go. The car gave me the escape I need to take myself out of the picture to make those decisions, and to think about where I go next in life for it is entirely in my power to do so. While I would not be the driver (the DeLorean is left-hand drive) it doesn’t matter for I would always be in control of what happens in my own world. While we cannot control the thoughts, feelings and actions of others, we do have control over our responses to them. It is divinely ordained versus having your fate in your own paws. Do you leave your life to fate or do you take decisive action and go after the things you really want and desire in life? Do you stand at the junction and be swept along by the rest of the world, or get into the DeLorean and take yourself off into a future of your own making?

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I woke up before I got into it but I had already decided; I was going into the future with my destiny in my own paws. No-one can take that from you. Everyone has their own DeLorean, it is just a matter of when you choose to get in it for it will always be waiting for you at the junction, door open, ready to take you Back to the Future.

Yours Friend In Time

Imeldra Moonpaw.

Shamash Sun-Cat and the Rise of the Masculine – a Time For Building and Beginning Again

As spring wanes, the mane of Shamash Sun-Cat has grown back to its full splendour after his battle with the Black Horse of Winter and, with it, its rays of light and heat bring life and vigour back to the world in the way of summer. While spring may have brought us new growth, the things we have planted have not yet bloomed or come into fruition. But now is the time for the work to begin. Summer is almost upon us and the hard labour of reaping and harvesting is on the horizon. It is the time of the Sun-Cat, and the celebration of all things male and solar.

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In Grimalkin society Shamash Sun-Cat rules the Day while his mate Inghira Moon-Cat rules the Night. Shamash is the embodiment of health, strength, vitality, virility and the essence of life itself and, even as his mate rules the darkness, his presence can still be felt as his warm rays still heat the world below and reflect upon the surface of the moons. Shamash is the life-giver and the regenerator and he, and all things male, are celebrated on Midsummer’s Day, or Adrach, in the Grimalkin Calendar. At Midwinter, the roles are reversed and all things female are celebrated.

Grimalkins celebrate the male deity that is Shamash, not only as a life-giving force, but as a representation of the male energy. The male Grimalkin is a creature that knows his role in the fabric of the clowder, and in the Cosmic Order. He fulfils many roles, not only as protector and builder of the place we call home, but as the maintainer and grower and creator of things. Just as the female creates things of use for different purposes, so the male creates things of purpose that keep the clowder and all its functions going. If the female Grimalkin is the soul of the clowder, the male Grimalkin is most definitely the heart. For there is no real separation between the sexes; while one gravitates towards one particular field, so does the other. But both male and female work together as a team to keep the clowder functioning as a well-oiled machine and a safe and comfortable home for all.

But to day is the day of the male. We need our male-folk. They are the very foundation stones upon which we build our society. Their unfailing dedication to their work and tasks make them invaluable, irreplaceable and much valued individuals in our world. Their brightness, vitality and creativity beams out of them with everything they do, whether they tend to the sick or elderly in the clowder hospital, or are thatching the roof of a new tavern. Their energy is infectious and inspires others to take up tasks they would not have necessarily considered before, galvanising others with their leadership and get-up-and-go. These Grimalkins are like solar flares or hot days in the Moon of Hazel, blazing, cheerful, garrulous and free with their laughter and mirth. For the more reserved of the male-folk, there are those who are passive and kind, warm and glowing like late summer afternoons by the sea. They are thoughtful and generous with their time and knowledge. Such male Grimalkins have their whiskers in a book or journal and will always seek to assist others in need. The studious and bookish Grimalkin is a good friend in times of crisis.

All of the male-folk embody the spirit of Shamash in one way or another. Midsummer not only celebrates the day of the male-folk – fathers, brothers, uncles, nephews, male friends or spouses – but also is a time to begin new projects. It is an assertive and productive time when all things and all tools are available to one, and the long summer ahead provides one with the light and the resources to begin in new endeavours, or journeys. Spring is a time of new beginnings, yes, but summer is the time when folk are at their busiest, and when most opportunities arise to partake in things one has never done before. Shamash Sun-Cat gives us the energy and the courage to take a leap of faith into the unknown and see where it takes us, all the while his sun-ray mane lighting the way.

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It is important we start new things, or pick up the threads of what we did before if we do not want to stagnate. Our personal growth and our happiness, to a degree, depend on our ability to adapt and learn new things, or to hone our skills, or perfect old ones. The male Grimalkin is always learning, always striving to add another string to his bow. This makes his a great asset to those around him, and because of his light, his skills and his creativity, he is in need, and in demand. The fact that his skills are in demand are a testament to his talents and ingenuity for he has worked on those skills alone. He has no-one to thank but himself. That is a noble calling and any Grimalkin who has honed his skills, made them his own and set himself on his way in the world should be a proud creature indeed. The world requires more of the industrious and enterprising Grimalkin.

But those skills and those talents are rare and to be valued. Such time and effort has gone into the making of the enterprising Grimalkin. The creativity in his paws must be given room to act freely and without hindrance. Good, solid, things can be made with those paws. And good, solid foundations can be found if the Grimalkin values himself and his talents as much as those around him do. If he gives his heart and soul as much attention as he does his skills, then a fortress he will build out of himself. And it will be good, and right and just.

The poem by the celebrated Bard Eriffin Aengus illustrates the rise of the masculine thus:

Wake up, wake up, O my brother,

for you have slept too long in the darkness.

Throw off the shackles of your past

and break the prison bars of your despair.

Wake up, my brother,

and feel the touch of sunlight on your skin.

Throw open the window of your soul and let fly

your spirit into the great beyond.

Wake up, my brother,

and shed not another tear for what has gone before,

or for maidens loved and lost,

for your life is just beginning.

Wake up, my brother,

for the battle cries of long fought wars

are slowly receding from your memory.

Step into the light; that will be your victory.

Wake up, my brother,

and feel the solid and bountiful earth beneath your feet.

Take up your bow and hunt the sacred boar

and pursue the faerie hind that holds the secrets of your heart.

Wake up, my brother,

and know the mysteries of life and death.

For all that you are and all you will become,

and you shall become a god.

Eriffinn Aengus of the Golden Branch

 

The male Grimalkin is an essential part of the Whole, the All. We cannot function without them. We must recognise and honour the Divine in them as they recognise and honour the Divine in us. The world is too much out of balance right now. One is set against the other and that cannot be. We must work as a team. They are as much a part of us as we are a part of them. Let us see them as Sun-Cats, and our Brothers in Light.

Yours By Star and Stone

Imeldra Moonpaw.

 

Loneliness vs Being Alone – Why We Should Never Fear Ourselves

In this time of cultural nihilism, we are often told that loneliness is a scourge on our community. It is. The lack of interaction – true, meaningful interaction – with other sentient beings, human or Grimalkin, like ourselves can leave us feeling very detached from the world, bereft and isolated. I want to address some things as this is a subject close to my heart. I have felt loneliness at times but I have also known those who are lonely. And so, this blog is for them.

We all seek out others of our kind. Our family. Our community. Our clan. Our tribe. It is a natural response to want to be with those who understand us, who can care for us and who we can care for in return. We seek sanctuary in these relationships. We yearn for that deep connection that touches our minds, hearts and souls. We want that silent knowing that we are accepted without question by those who are like us. It is where we find security, peace, love and friendship.

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But there are times when we can be surrounded by people and feel the loneliest being in the world. Why is this? I believe that we feel this way because we have lost, or never had, that essential connection with ourselves. Some can live their entire lives on their own and be happy and at peace with that because they have a strong sense of self. They know who they are and where they are going. But for many, seeking out others to deal with their loneliness becomes a mission, and sometimes a toxic and all-consuming one at that.

Loneliness is a natural reaction to the lack of meaningful connections with others. I say meaningful because we, as complex creatures, we want to engage with and expand our consciousness with others in our journey of life, share our hopes and dreams with them, share our loves and our pet peeves, our gripes and our simple pleasures and hope they understand them. We want validation that we matter, and that everything about us and our world has meaning and significance. We seek out others of our kind because we long to extend our universal love to those around us, to feel included and safe and secure. We are social beings. Our energies will naturally gravitate towards those who vibrate on a similar wavelength. The saying “you are on my wavelength” means exactly that.

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Being connected to those like us brings us joy and peace. It brings out the best in us and we bring out the best in others in turn. But what if you do not have those connections? What if, at some point in your life, you find yourself feeling alone despite being in the midst of a crowd?

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There are times when you can feel so disconnected from everything and everyone it becomes difficult to function in everyday life. Loneliness can draw you into a dangerous world of isolation, depression and self-sabotage. You can often feel like it is your fault you feel this way, like you have failed somehow, failed at being a human being because, here you are – you may be popular, have lots of friends or be successful – and yet you are wanting. You may feel guilty for feeling this way, somehow ungrateful, feeling the confusion of wanting to get away and yet yearning for the company of others, and this can lead to a downward spiral of depression. self-blame and even self-loathing. You feel like a fraud for putting on a smile and showing the world that you are okay but inside you are screaming. Keeping up appearances is a Sisyphean task – you get through the day with a laugh and a smile, keeping everyone’s probing questions of “u ok hun?” at bay, only to crawl to bed in the early hours, aching and despairing, having no room in your mind or your heart to think or feel anything but the darkness that is slowly pressing in upon you.

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You can’t talk about it. How could you? You have to be the person everyone wants you to be. One person needs you to be one way, another person needs you to be another. You have to juggle flaming torches and spin plates all at the same time, pleasing everyone, or at least trying to. You try your hardest but inside you feel like you are failing, falling apart. You are keeping it together but barely. You don’t know what people want from you.  You can’t be yourself. You begin to understand that you can’t keep everyone happy, you can’t please everyone. You can’t be everything to every person. You can’t do all the things you promised. You are being crushed under the sheer weight of the pressure around you – people, things, work, more people, more work, family….. It goes on and on. Your health is beginning to fail. You can’t do as much as you did before. That adds to the guilt. It weights even heavier upon you. The world becomes a carousel of noise and sound you can’t seem to escape from but you long to, long to get away for just a little while. You ache to get away from it all, to be alone, even away from the people you love most, but this also adds to the guilt. You feel like a monster for wanting a few precious moments away from them – to walk in the woods, to sit with a book and just gather your thoughts. Just for a few moments…

But in those moments, you still feel that void inside of you. The inescapable void that longs to be filled with something you don’t know what. You have been seeking it all your life but it has always eluded you. Sex. Work. Friends. Things. But it was never enough.  Anger. Rage. Frustration, Depression. Despair, Sadness. Emptiness. It is all there. All working against you and yet there is no-one there to tell it to. You keep it in. You feel like your heart is going to explode with the sheer volume of it all. The loss. The pain. The inability to voice the discordant cacophony of feelings, emotions and thoughts playing a disharmonious dirge inside of you. It is a frightening and isolating place to be, my Dear Human. You cannot voice it because you don’t know how.  You never learned that your thoughts and feelings were important. You were never taught that you mattered in a way that you should have done. But it matters. It always mattered. Because, my Dear Human, you are and essential part of the Whole, the All, just like the rest of us.

Your silence is killing you.

But oh, my Dearest Human, there is a way. From one who has walked through darkness and come out of the other side, there is a way to end this cycle of destruction. You can  and are worth saving.

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People often confuse being alone with loneliness. The two are not the same. Loneliness is the feeling of lack. Being alone is the feeling of contentment in one’s own company. It can take some time to adjust to being on one’s own but it is an important part of personal growth.

Now, I am not suggesting you end all of your relationships, cut all of your ties and live like a hermit or an anchorite until the end of your earthly days. You can be with others AND feel comfortable BEING ALONE at the same time.

  1. Being alone does not mean shutting yourself off from others. Being alone means setting time aside for YOURSELF and doing the things you enjoy, being present in the moment, reflecting on the things you want out of life.
  2. Being alone sets healthy boundaries with others. If you find you do not have a moment to yourself, be assertive and express your intention to have You-Time.
  3. Being alone is essential to personal growth and development. Many people fear being on their own. If you feel this way, then ask yourself why? Are you afraid of yourself? Do you need to work on some inner issues? Do you need help with anything? If you need help ASK. NEVER BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP. IF YOU ARE IN NEED OF HELP, PLEASE DO NOT SUFFER IN SILENCE. CONTACT SOMEONE YOU TRUST, A PROFESSIONAL OR A GP. NEVER SUFFER ALONE. 
  4. Being alone gives you much-needed time to evaluate your situations. If your life or situation requires change or improvement, being alone will give you the time and emotional/mental space you need to make rational and informed decisions.

It is easier said than done. The fear of being alone can be too much for some and they spend their entire lives seeking out company because they cannot, or will not, address the reasons why they feel that way. My belief is that is you have a strong, or at least, a stable, inner core, then being alone and doing things on your own, becomes something you enjoy and not something to be feared.

People fear being alone with themselves. You should never fear yourself. If you have difficulty finding yourself, then take time to discover that. But you can only do that by spending time alone. Make friends with yourself. Be your own best friend, your own brother or sister. Being alone helps you to discover things about yourself you never knew existed. You may surprise yourself – once you give yourself time to grow and expand in the new space you have given yourself, you will feel less lonely. You will have forged that essential connection with yourself, which is the most important connection of all, the most healthy relationship you can have. Of course, you will still have your relationships and people around you, but you will now have a choice – you will choose to seek out company because you will not need it as you once did. The need to fill the void will no longer be there because you have done the work inside. You can only fix and heal yourself, but always seek out professional help if you need it. No-one can solve your problems for you, nor can people, addictions or things be substitutes for the relationship you need to create with yourself.

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There is one last thing I want to address. You are not a failure. You are not a bad person. You are not unwanted, or unloved, or incapable of doing things. You are not a misfit or a freak or a square peg in a round hole. Your experiences do not make you. Your character and your integrity does. If you have not fit into a particular niche in life, if you have always felt like an outsider, there is a reason why and it has nothing to do with you. It is not because there is something wrong with you, it is because there is something wrong with society. You will always find your clan, your tribe. If you are not resonating with those around you and it is making you sad, miserable, uncomfortable or depressed, never feel guilty about moving on. It is YOUR life and we only have a short time here so we need to make the most of it. Seek out those who chime with you. Never apologise and never explain. Part of the reason why we feel lonely is because we stay in situations out of obligation. We do not need to do this. We always have the choice to free ourselves and seek pastures new and feel less alone in the world.

Please visit my other blogs on Inner Child work and Healing for further reading.

Yours Under the Boughs

Imeldra Moonpaw

Taking Back Your Power -Connecting to Source and Regaining Control of Your Life.

  During the spiritual awakening process, or merely the process of waking up to the fact there is more to this world than first meets the eye, we can often get drawn into other thought processes and ideas. The process of awakening, spiritual or not, can be an uncomfortable and sometimes frightening, bewildering and confusing experience. At this time we will often reach out for something that is familiar and comforting to us rather than take the plunge and forge ahead into the unknown, This is the time where we can become trapped again into another belief system and can be, one again, ensnared into the Matrix.

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  Whether you believe it or not, there are higher and lower forces at work in the Universe. The higher forces (including your Higher Self), whether you believe in God, Goddess, angels, higher beings or the power of Source, are always trying to find a way to ascend, to improve, to raise the vibration of this world and its inhabitants. On the opposite end of the scale there are the lower forces trying to do the opposite and keep the vibration low, to keep people trapped, in fear and in the dark, unknowing, subservient and obedient. These forces know all too well knowledge is power. To ascend is to gain power, personal power, and for far too long, human beings have given their power away.

  For many a century, or even  millennia, the human mind has been conditioned to obey, to accept the program, the conditioning, to accept that the unknown is as scary and as dangerous as the deepest darkest jungle, or the barren wilderness. There is nothing out there. Nothing to see. You will only get hurt. Or die. Better to stay within the safe confines of the program or the system, right?

  But what if  that system, program or theory makes the human mind trapped and miserable? What if the theory people are clinging to and living by is causing them so much suffering and pain they see no way out of it? What if that system or theory suggests a person allows for the mistreatment or bad behaviour of others, to make excuses or allowances because it is ‘divinely ordained’, ‘part of the mission’ or ‘the Universe’s/God’s plan for you’? If that theory or system is causing misery and heartbreak to the ones who are believing in it, how can that possibly be for the highest good? If your heart is breaking and aching beyond endurance, then it is not open to unconditional love and cannot feel that love for all beings. You are not awakening. You are not developing as a spiritual being. You are not ascending. You are slowly descending into your own personal hell.

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  It is time to break the bonds. It is time for human beings to start trusting themselves and the gifts their Creator gave them – a brilliant, spiritual mind, an everlasting soul, the ability to love unconditionally, the ability to transcend this dimension into the 5th, 6th and 7th, the gifts of second sight and all of the supernormal traits that have long been suppressed by the systems that did not want the truth to be revealed. It is time to take back the personal power that humans have given away for so long.

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  Beings (and I am also talking about humans and Grimalkins) are unique and sovereign souls. Some systems will have you believe you need to go through certain people, or to be in union with another human being in order to be whole and complete or to fulfil some sort of ‘soul journey’. This is not true.

You are complete and whole already. You are an individual soul. You do not need another to ‘complete you’. You do not need the love of another to make things happen.

You are already CONNECTED TO SOURCE. You are a SOVEREIGN SOUL.

  You do not need to wait on another to ‘awaken’ or ‘do their work’ or ‘catch up’. You do not need something outside of yourself to validate your mission or your existence. You do not need to be in ‘union’ with anyone.

YOU NEED TO BE IN UNION WITH YOURSELF.

  That means you love yourself first, take care of yourself first, forgive yourself and work on healing those wounds that have long held you back. No-one in this world or the next will ever be able to do that for you. The inner child work is essential here. Only you can do that.

YOU HEAL YOU. YOU LOVE YOU. YOU FORM THAT PRECIOUS BOND OF TRUST WITH YOURSELF. YOU CONNECT WITH SOURCE.  IT IS AS EASY AS BREATHING AND EATING.

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  How Do You Get To This Point?

  The time of letting go comes after one has truly exhausted all other possibilities. In the story of Buddha, the Enlightened One came to realise that that extreme self-denial, discipline and high meditative states were simply not enough and so decided on the middle way – neither luxury nor poverty. Self reflection and his experience of life and the truths behind it enabled him to achieve enlightenment. The Buddha looked WITHIN not WITHOUT and found the answers he sought.

  Many people fear this process. This is understandable. Many fear what they might see, fear how they may feel if they go to the dark places in their minds and hearts and so look for external solutions – partners, sex, money, work, addictions. But none of these satisfy the deep longing for peace which can only be found within. And there are plenty of traders and performers willing to tout their wares to the sad, desperate and lonely (I am not talking about genuine readers as I am a reader myself). Many offer ‘solutions’ in the way of specific theories and belief systems that sell the idea that their suffering is meant to be for some higher soul purpose and, if they just hang on in there and suffer that little bit more, everything will work out in the end. They are ‘doing their work’, ‘the other is coming towards you soon’, or ‘wanting to communicate but are afraid to for [insert reason/excuse]’. Of course, it never does. It is like the Rapture – the date keeps changing and so do the rules. It is a game that cannot be won other than by those who make up the rules, leaving the heartbroken and the lonely holding onto an empty cup that will never be filled. It is in the very nature of the human to be loved and to dangle the idea of a love that will never come before the lost and the lonely is cruel, cynical and deeply unethical.

  Only at the point of giving up on everything, even life itself, do we often see the light. It may come as the rising of a new dawn or it may come as a lightning bolt that tears your life asunder. But the destruction of all we know is an essential part of the process of Becoming. It is at this point we surrender – to God, to Jesus, to the Goddess, to Source or whatever belief you hold – and let go. Utterly. And to let go is to become a child again. To allow the Source to see you there, standing naked and unafraid, with the last of the old life falling away, the negative parts of the Ego dying. The process I speak of it painful and yet deeply euphoric. The purges that follow, traumatic but deeply healing and cathartic. It has to hurt if it is to heal. In order to know light you must first walk through the darkness. There is no other way. Holding onto the old systems and programs will never make you happy or whole.

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So How Do You Get To This Place?

  The first thing you will start to notice is the feeling that ‘something’ isn’t quite right. In the beginning you may not be able to put your finger on it but, over time, you will start to see that things are not fitting together as they once did. DO NOT IGNORE THIS. This is your intuition, or your ‘Spidey Senses’ working as they should. Beliefs and ideas you once held as gospel no longer sit right with you. You begin to question everything, even yourself. This is perfectly normal. What isn’t normal is NOT questioning anything.

  1. As you start to question everything, those around you will start to question YOU. Your sanity, your state of mind. Do not doubt yourself at this early stage. You are starting to awaken and leaving the old notions, ideas, programs and beliefs behind.
  2. Others will want to keep you in the Matrix. They will challenge you, even go as far as to say you need psychiatric help. You do not. Stay the course.
  3. Find some useful beginners meditation videos on Youtube to get you started. Learning to clear your mind and forge that essential connection to Source and to your Self, your inner core. Think of yourself as a fortress or a temple. You are your sanctuary. You do not need anything else. You don’t need any special training or classes. There are plenty of helpful meditation guides online for you to use.
  4. Remember – you do not need anyone to validate your existence or your experience. We hear a lot about others being ‘invalidated’ by others. You can only invalidate yourself. You are ultimately responsible for yourself. No-one else. Own yourself. Take care of yourself and your body, mind and spirit.
  5. No-one is responsible for how you feel. No-one is responsible for your happiness. Never place your happiness in the hands of another. Do not give away your power like that. You are not responsible for the happiness of others either. Accept personal responsibility. Own your mistakes and rectify them if you can.
  6. Change what you can and accept what you cannot. Life happens. You cannot control life, but you can control how it affects you. Take ownership of how you feel during troubled times. Seek help when you need it but do not fall into the trap of expecting others to solve your problems for you. YOU have all the answers you need. You just need to look in the right places, or have patience and the answers will come when you are not looking for them.
  7. Accept you know nothing, or very little about the world. I don’t mean this in an offensive way. But be open to everything. Practice discernment and critical thinking. If something does not fit, don’t try to make it fit. If you do not agree, accept you do not agree and move on.
  8. Not everyone is going to agree with you. Getting angry and arguing the toss solves nothing. Before engaging in an argument, ask yourself – is it worth the time and effort? What will I gain from this? Does it really matter? Can I spend my time and energy in a better and more productive way? It’s not backing down, it’s simply not engaging. There is a difference.
  9. Not everyone has your best interests at heart. Beware of those who come into your life and claim to ‘make things better’ or ‘save you’. If you are vulnerable, there are those who will latch onto you and will make themselves indispensable in your life. They do so because, more often than not, they have co-dependence issues and need constant validation in order to feel ‘whole’ and ‘complete’. These people will often be very intense very quickly – claiming to be ‘soul-mates’ or ‘best friends’. Be very careful. A lot of these individuals are predatory and will often exhibit unstable behaviours bordering on criminal such as coercive, emotionally and mentally abusive behaviour, and stalking. During the awakening process, co-dependents around you will hold on even tighter and escalate their behaviour as, at some point, you will come to understand the nature of the situation and take appropriate action.
  10. You have a choice who you associate with. At this time you will find yourself both losing and gaining friends. As you ascend, the friends you once had will no longer resonate with you as they once did. Do not feel guilty about moving on. New pastures await. You always have a choice about who you have in your life. If you choose good, healthy relationships, you will have a good healthy experience with those people. If you choose drama, co-dependency, manipulation and tantrums, then you will receive nothing but misery and depression. This in turn, will affect all aspects of your life – work, other relationships, family, health. Remember – you always have a choice and choices have consequences however unintended. You are who you associate with. 
  11. You will begin to suffer from bouts of depression. This is entirely normal. Your old programs are breaking down. They have to in order to make way for new, healthier ones to take their place. As you awaken, you will veer between depression and euphoria. I suggest you seek counselling if you feel the depression if negatively impacting your life. There may be underlying issues you need help with.
  12. Engage with inner child work. If your childhood was less that perfect, it is worth addressing your inner child. Some counselling services provide this support. Alternatively, there are helpful meditations online that will guide you through the inner child healing process. Inner child work is essential if you want to heal fully.
  13. You may find yourself interested in subjects that did not interest you before. READ. READ. READ. Remember – knowledge is power but again, do not get trapped in another false belief loop that will make you miserable.
  14. Knowledge should make you feel happy, light, excited and full of joy. If something or a theory, belief system or program makes you feel uncomfortable or unhappy, then it is NOT FOR YOU. Do not feel obliged to partake in it. Whatever lowers your vibration and makes you sad and miserable is to be avoided. That is NOT to say you need to avoid your feelings.
  15. FEEL YOUR FEELINGS. Never avoid your feelings. Part of the problem humans have is that they feel the need to hide their emotions. At this time you will be feeling very emotional. It is VITAL you feel ALL your emotions. Laugh, cry, feel joy, feel misery. Accept all your emotions and feel them freely and without guilt or shame. Never apologise for your feelings for you apologise for the truth. Be at peace with your feelings and they will not haunt you as they once did.

  This is by no means an exhaustive list. The awakening process is huge and complex and life-changing. But if one begins with the small things, bigger and more meaningful things will follow. Start by knowing that you are one soul, one being, a spiritual being with a direct connection to God/Goddess/Source. Everything is entirely within your power. Don’t give it away to those who claim to know how to ‘make it better’, ‘know the answers’. No-one can save you except yourself. You will never find true happiness outside of yourself if you continue to plug the emotional leaks with those just like you who are seeking answers of their own. It can only lead to misery, depression, suffering and ruin.

  If you need help and support, please, always took to those who work within the light. There are those who work, not from Source, but from Ego. Be mindful of these people.

TAKE THE POWER YOU ONCE GAVE AWAY TO OTHERS AND GIVE IT BACK TO YOURSELF. THAT IS WHERE THE MAGIC LIES. THAT IS WHEN TRUE MIRACLES CAN HAPPEN. 

TRUST YOURSELF.

Angelic being

Your Friend in Love and Light

Imeldra Moonpaw

 

Taking the Road Less Travelled – As Dumbledore said; a Choice Between What is Right and What is Easy.

  You are wandering through a forest alone. Suddenly you are presented with two paths – the path to the right is sunlit, with neat grassy verges. Flowers grow. There are bees and butterflies. A blackbird trills in the undergrowth. It is pleasant. You have a vague sense of the destination to which this path will take you. You sense the approval of your friends, family and peers should you take this path. It is inviting. Secure. Familiar.

  To the left is another. It is somewhat darker, full of gnarled old pines, yews and hawthorns. Their branches seem to want to reach out and grab you and pull at your clothes. You can smell the damp and the decay. You can hear the hooting of an owl and the rustling of the leaves of an unknown creature passing by. Here are wolves and bears and battleswine. It is a dangerous path. Here, you sense your friends, family and peers telling you  not to go. You see the anger, disapproval and disappointment on their faces in your mind’s eye.

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  And yet, you know there is something just beyond the tangle of thorns and grasping branches. Here the nights are dark and moonless. Here are deep caves and steep ravines. Here be hags and spirits and ghosts of the past you thought had long gone.

  You notice two marker stones – the marker stone pointing to the right is in the shape of a unicorn. The one to the left is in the shape of a dragon. You look to the right and you can hear merry music and smell delicious food. It is enticing. But you know this is an illusion as, when you look to the right, to where the dragon is pointing, you know that is where the truth lies. You see, the unicorn represents magic;  to be precise – glamour, illusion. The dragon has always represented old magic and treasure and, in particular, the treasure of the soul. You cannot simply happen upon this treasure. No – you must earn it.

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  It would be all to easy to take the path to the right, follow the unicorn and satisfy everyone around you, to be safe and secure in all that you know and love. But to what cost? At some stage there will come a time when you will experience that yearning deep inside your soul as to why you are here, what your purpose is, what is the truth to your situation if any. Facing the dragon is always terrifying but taking up the sword and trying to slay it is not, and has never been, the answer. The dragon lies in the deepest parts of  your inner world, but to get there you must take the path to the left, and leave all of your previous assumptions, ideas, fears and follies aside. Yes, to take the path you must even go against those closest to you if they do not approve for they, in many cases, have kept you blinded by glamour and illusion for whatever reason. Sometimes, for their own selfish reasons. Blinded by the  false glamour-light of the right hand path, they have kept you blind to the truth of who you are.

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  You move forward and, as you pass the dragon marker, the trees close behind you for there is no going back once you have awoken. Once your eyes have opened to the truth of the false light, there is no going back. You must go ahead into the darkness and face all that has haunted you throughout your life. Only then will you see the truth, bring it to bear and then be free as a result of it, whether it brings you joy or sadness. For this path, too, has an end, but it is an end of your choosing.

  Ultimately you will face the dragon at the end of your journey but instead of taking  up arms against it, will you converse with it? Confront it? Befriend it? What will you do to convince it to relinquish the treasure it holds for you? Well, that all depends on your journey through the dark forest and what demons, ghosts or creatures you fight. Will it be the ghosts of childhood trauma, or the monster of your own ego or fear that you will face?

  It is important to remember that this journey is a soul journey, one that leads to enlightenment and a happier, more fulfilling life if that is what you choose. But old wounds that have long been neglected all lie along the left hand path and all need addressing. The first foes you will meet on the road are fear and ego. Overcome these and the rest is merely a journey of discovery. Embrace the darkness for it has much to teach us – The gnarled old yew holds the Ogham oracle, the wolf will act as your guide along the road, the hag will impart wisdom, the ghosts will give you messages from those who have passed on, the battleswine will forge a path through the brambles so you can find another route you wouldn’t necessarily have taken. With each fear comes a new opportunity to learn and grow as a person and as a Universal Being. These trials will help you connect with the Source.

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  If you do not already do so, learn to meditate. Or, at least, set time aside each day and be still, even if it is only for five or ten minutes. There is much wisdom and guidance to be had in those moments of silence and inactivity. Take each day as it comes. Taking the left hand path is not easy, but it is right for there lies the truth at the end, whatever that truth means to you. But it means walking through darkness first for in doing so, can we really appreciate the true light, not the false light presented to us by the way of quick fixes, social media, meaningless cliches and self-styled lifestyle gurus who claim to have all the answers. YOU have all the answers you will ever need if you look within. But you can and will face opposition from those who want to keep you blind, keep you tethered, bridled. You cannot bridle a dragon. Follow it no matter what those around you say. Do what you feel is right, not what is easy and, more importantly, easiest for other people.

  Live this life in truth as much as you can. Fear not the dragon or the darkness. Do not take up arms against the dragon. Befriend it and earn the treasure of your soul.

Yours in Love and Light

Imeldra Moonpaw

 

Transformation and Awakening During the Dark Time -Healing and the Coming of Spring

  Greetings, my human friends. February is, as they say, the coldest month and, as Imbolc approaches, you may be forgiven for thinking it is a false dawn. While the snowdrops and crocuses may be peering out from the frosty ground, the dark days are not yet over for this is a kind of no-man’s land between winter and spring. The plants and the flowers may want to emerge but the winter is still clinging to all things living. It is a tough time for all beings.

  For some, the winter is a difficult time. For those living in the north, the lack of sunlight may be having an affect of their mental and physical well-being. The world is in a curious state of upheaval and no-one seems to know when or how it will all end. But we can only do the best we can with what we have and forge ahead with both optimism and realism for I sense that things have not yet settled into their new places yet.

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  The Shift has been something of a life-changing event for some. In some cases, life events have forced individuals into a realisation that their old ways of thinking, feeling and doing are no longer working for them. Old programmes and patterns of behaviours were limiting, restricting, suffocating. A sudden shift in awareness perhaps allowed them to break free of those patterns and enabled them to say and do things they would never have said or done before due to ego or fear. Moving beyond those things is a huge step into becoming the person (or Grimalkin) you are meant to be and this can have a snowball effect. But make no mistake – this sudden awakening is not always rainbows and starlight and Buddhist chants. It can, and does, alter your life to the point of no return. It will turn your life upside down.

  Waking up means you see things differently, see people differently, see situations differently. You may have followed one pattern of behaviour only to wake up the next day and think “hang on, this no longer makes sense.” But the difference is you know WHY it no longer makes sense. You begin to question everything and everyone. You analyse and pick apart everything, every relationship in your life and ask yourself “Does this make me happy? Is this working for me? Where am I going? Why am I stuck and how can I get myself unstuck?” The Higher Self WANTS you to wake up, to change and make your life better because it is what you are meant to be doing. But this process also brings with it loss, disappointment and sometimes heartbreak when we realise that those around us are not who we thought they were, or are with us because it is convenient, or the job you have is only a security blanket that you cling to because you are afraid of spreading your wings and showing your true light to the world, or the values you have no longer fit in with the values you see on television, or in the papers, or on line, or in the world in general. Everything seems so out of place. YOU seem out of place. It is disorientating and frustrating and can drive you crazy. But remember- you are in your rightful place and time. Right now.

Yes, waking up can be devastating. You will inevitably lose the things you love and, like the no-man’s land we are in before the spring, can be a frightening and uncertain time as we are letting go of the old life with no lifebuoy to hold on to. As such, we can feel as though we are drowning. Leaving a job because you know it is detrimental to your health and well-being is terrifying – how will you pay the bills? How will you manage? Will the ideas I have for my own business work? What if I fail? They are all questions that will do circuits around your head, keeping you trapped in fear.

 

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Leaving behind people you once loved is probably the hardest of all. Your shift in consciousness almost always brings truth and sometimes that truth is painful. It is hard because for the longest time you thought those people would always be around, always be part of your life, always share your greatest achievements and your deepest despair. But when you wake up, you will sometimes see that it was not always the case; that those you thought cared the most about, never cared or wanted to be part of your life after all, or that those who you thought you could rely on walked away when you needed them most. It leaves you feeling bereft. Empty. Left with a feeling of nowhere to go.

  The most painful part of all of the awakening process is the perception that you lied to yourself. This is not the case. You believed in the best of people; you acted on the knowledge you had at the time. Forgive yourself for not knowing. Forgive yourself for not being awake. Forgive yourself for caring too much – it is not a crime to love but remember that love is not always returned. It is okay not to feel okay about this. With awakening comes the ability to give love to those who you feel have earned it. You can be wise with your feelings now rather than love blindly and giving freely. Your cup needs to be full before it is offered to others. If you cannot love yourself, then at least accept yourself. It is a start. Meditate. The Great Mother/God/Universe/your Higher Self has love for everyone. More than enough. Ask and you shall receive with abundance.

  The Dark Time is also a time of healing so if anyone is feeling the effects of loss because of their awakening, please know it will not last. The colours will return to the world, the scents of the flowers will come back more fragrant than before. Remember, with awakening comes enlightenment so, like the spring, new things will grow and flourish. Allow the old things to die to make room for new life and new opportunities. Make room for those who want to stand by your side and let go of those who do not. Life is too short and time to precious. You have to make life happen for yourself despite the heartache this process may have caused. But this is a necessary process – it is almost like a waking death only for you to be transformed into something better on the other side. Allow yourself to be reborn wiser and more knowledgeable and spiritual than before.

  Be mindful that winter doesn’t last forever. Be kind to yourself in this dark time. Heal, spend time with trusted friends or your animal friends. Hand all your cares, worries and woes over to the Great Mother, God, the Universe or the creator of your understanding. It is all part of the soul’s journey to a better you.

Brightest Blessings in these Dark Days
Imeldra Moonpaw