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Night Thoughts – An Honest Look at Love and Faith. When Love Fails And When It Does Not

  Life is complex. We do not have the level of control we think we do. We cannot control others’ actions nor can we control external events that occur around us. The world is not perfect. It is unpredictable, as are those who dwell within it.

  There are times when we think love and faith alone cannot sustain a wounded heart or a jaded soul. It is not enough to just throw open the doors to the heart and hope for the best. We leave ourselves open to disappointment and dismay. Use our discernment wherever possible, especially if we have been walking blindly in the dark without answers. We can only act upon what is given and not what is ambivalent or ambiguous. We make our judgements on what is presented to us whenever we can and, for the most part, misunderstandings, miscommunications and all they entail can be avoided. Such meaningful connections have been lost to such wanderings in the dark. We are sure to turn on the light and see the truth of the matter before making decisions of the heart and soul. Such things as love and faith are sacred and profound, and are as precious and fragile as  as spun glass.

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  No, love cannot be given freely in that way. Faith cannot be blind to all. In the chaos of this maelstrom we call Life it can become lost, damaged, broken, misunderstood, misrepresented, taken for something it is not, even feared. We cannot give those things away freely. To do so is madness.

  There are times when love does not conquer all and our faith fails us. It is then we must look to ourselves, and our Higher Selves within, and see what we truly value, what deserves our time, love and attention. And our faith. To give it away blindly makes it valueless and ceases to have any meaning. Love becomes but a word we say because we feel we have to, not because we truly mean it. It becomes lost and without purpose. And that is when love fails and does not conquer all, nor does it heal the wounds of past hurts, or brings souls together in truth and light. Too many times the word is spoken and too many times the true meaning is lost like brittle leaves in an autumn gale.

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  The lips may say the word but only the heart truly means it, and the heart can say it in a thousand silent ways. It is then, and only then, faith and love can heal the wounds of the heart like they never were, can quieten and soothe the horrors of the past so they are merely echoes in the stillness of night. It is then the tears will dry on the cheeks of the broken, the lonely and the dispossessed. It reaches out and touches the hearts of another, and another and another, and so it goes on, and is passed on from one to the next to the next…

The heart says it in a thousand silent ways.

  It has no need of words. Sometimes love can fail, but sometimes it does not. Sometimes it reaches in and touches you in the space where you think nothing and no-one can reach; the dark, forgotten space left abandoned by hurt and pain even when you don’t want it to. It touches that space like a mother touching her child for the first time and All That Is is suspended there in that place you thought long abandoned. It may not be for any reason at all, but the power of that touch is like the sun setting and rising in your soul. The Mountain and the Fire inside it. The colours of the exploding supernova in your chest that you feel could light up the entire world and beyond. The ebbing and flowing of the tides, coming and going, in and out, rising and falling, day in, day out, burning like a Midsummer day one moment then descending to the warm glow of winter embers the next, all the while lighting up the darkest recesses of your being whether you ask it to or no. You have no choice. They say you don’t choose who you fall in love with. I say you have no choice but to love regardless.

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  Yes, sometimes love fails, but it is only what we perceive to be its failure. Love is just what IS. It does not do what we want it to do. It is not a beast of burden to be directed to plough a field, or pull a cart. Sometimes we don’t want it because it hurts. But is it the love that hurts or are we hurt because life has dealt us an uneven hand? We feel love because it is in us to do so. We hurt because we do not, or cannot give it to others no matter how much we desire it, or it is not received in the way we want it to. The love remains untouched, untainted, unbroken by the whims and affairs of Man. It is the wants and needs of the Ego that hurt and tear at your soul. The love itself remains unchanged.

The heart says it in a thousand silent ways.

  The love that is silent lets go, flows uninhibited like a meandering mountain river down to a vast and sleepy ocean. It is quiet and reflective. It knows when to let fly and give freedom without prejudice. But this a love that can only be known in the silence, after the storm. After the Fall of the Old Life when the skylark has returned to the sky after the hurricane has passed overhead. It is the knowledge that it is not love that hurts – the hurt we do to ourselves by holding onto things that can never be, holding on to old thoughts and feelings that do nought but remind us of our shortcomings, comparing ourselves to others, feeling shame and guilt for past actions, regretting past decisions, words said or left unsaid. In this space, where love touches us deeply, like the Hand of God, none of it matters anymore.

  True love, silent love, does not come from others. It just IS. We just pass it from one to another, if we are lucky enough to do so. Treasure it, like it is spun glass, for it is something that, if passed on from that space where the sun rises and sets, where the winter embers glow, then it truly does have the power to heal ALL wounds, even the ones you never believed would heal. It just takes a little faith.

Yours in Love and Light

Imeldra Moonpaw

 

 

 

Night Thoughts -Redefining Who You Are After the Fall of the Old Life

It’s not about defeat. It is not about self-destruction.

  It’s about learning who and what you are again. Re-evaluating. Re-organising. Learning what works and what does not. What worked before may not now as, after the Fall, there comes the Rebuild. Just as Rome was never rebuilt the same way, so can a life never be the same after it has been broken. The Fall of the Old Life is an essential part of living, growing and evolving. Many old habits, thoughts, acquaintances no longer fit into the new Empire that is YOU. Feel no shame in opening your hands and letting them descend to earth to be recycled or to decay.

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And yet, a few foundation stones remain to build upon – integrity, values – the things that fundamentally make you unique in this world. The old may go. It may die. It may turn to ashes and dissolve into the wind. It is no defeat to allow yourself to fall and shatter and to coalesce into a new form. Stars and planets do this endlessly. And so we must.

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  It is a difficult task. We are but children again, learning to walk and talk and find our way among our fellows once more. For we are new and untested in this fresh form in a world full of uncertainty, turmoil and despair. And yet, for those who have known a Fall and survived, sometimes many, it is simply another metamorphosis into a different and more evolved form, a better and more stable Empire of Self.

Your Friend

Imeldra Moonpaw

Taking Back Your Power -Connecting to Source and Regaining Control of Your Life.

  During the spiritual awakening process, or merely the process of waking up to the fact there is more to this world than first meets the eye, we can often get drawn into other thought processes and ideas. The process of awakening, spiritual or not, can be an uncomfortable and sometimes frightening, bewildering and confusing experience. At this time we will often reach out for something that is familiar and comforting to us rather than take the plunge and forge ahead into the unknown, This is the time where we can become trapped again into another belief system and can be, one again, ensnared into the Matrix.

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  Whether you believe it or not, there are higher and lower forces at work in the Universe. The higher forces (including your Higher Self), whether you believe in God, Goddess, angels, higher beings or the power of Source, are always trying to find a way to ascend, to improve, to raise the vibration of this world and its inhabitants. On the opposite end of the scale there are the lower forces trying to do the opposite and keep the vibration low, to keep people trapped, in fear and in the dark, unknowing, subservient and obedient. These forces know all too well knowledge is power. To ascend is to gain power, personal power, and for far too long, human beings have given their power away.

  For many a century, or even  millennia, the human mind has been conditioned to obey, to accept the program, the conditioning, to accept that the unknown is as scary and as dangerous as the deepest darkest jungle, or the barren wilderness. There is nothing out there. Nothing to see. You will only get hurt. Or die. Better to stay within the safe confines of the program or the system, right?

  But what if  that system, program or theory makes the human mind trapped and miserable? What if the theory people are clinging to and living by is causing them so much suffering and pain they see no way out of it? What if that system or theory suggests a person allows for the mistreatment or bad behaviour of others, to make excuses or allowances because it is ‘divinely ordained’, ‘part of the mission’ or ‘the Universe’s/God’s plan for you’? If that theory or system is causing misery and heartbreak to the ones who are believing in it, how can that possibly be for the highest good? If your heart is breaking and aching beyond endurance, then it is not open to unconditional love and cannot feel that love for all beings. You are not awakening. You are not developing as a spiritual being. You are not ascending. You are slowly descending into your own personal hell.

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  It is time to break the bonds. It is time for human beings to start trusting themselves and the gifts their Creator gave them – a brilliant, spiritual mind, an everlasting soul, the ability to love unconditionally, the ability to transcend this dimension into the 5th, 6th and 7th, the gifts of second sight and all of the supernormal traits that have long been suppressed by the systems that did not want the truth to be revealed. It is time to take back the personal power that humans have given away for so long.

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  Beings (and I am also talking about humans and Grimalkins) are unique and sovereign souls. Some systems will have you believe you need to go through certain people, or to be in union with another human being in order to be whole and complete or to fulfil some sort of ‘soul journey’. This is not true.

You are complete and whole already. You are an individual soul. You do not need another to ‘complete you’. You do not need the love of another to make things happen.

You are already CONNECTED TO SOURCE. You are a SOVEREIGN SOUL.

  You do not need to wait on another to ‘awaken’ or ‘do their work’ or ‘catch up’. You do not need something outside of yourself to validate your mission or your existence. You do not need to be in ‘union’ with anyone.

YOU NEED TO BE IN UNION WITH YOURSELF.

  That means you love yourself first, take care of yourself first, forgive yourself and work on healing those wounds that have long held you back. No-one in this world or the next will ever be able to do that for you. The inner child work is essential here. Only you can do that.

YOU HEAL YOU. YOU LOVE YOU. YOU FORM THAT PRECIOUS BOND OF TRUST WITH YOURSELF. YOU CONNECT WITH SOURCE.  IT IS AS EASY AS BREATHING AND EATING.

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  How Do You Get To This Point?

  The time of letting go comes after one has truly exhausted all other possibilities. In the story of Buddha, the Enlightened One came to realise that that extreme self-denial, discipline and high meditative states were simply not enough and so decided on the middle way – neither luxury nor poverty. Self reflection and his experience of life and the truths behind it enabled him to achieve enlightenment. The Buddha looked WITHIN not WITHOUT and found the answers he sought.

  Many people fear this process. This is understandable. Many fear what they might see, fear how they may feel if they go to the dark places in their minds and hearts and so look for external solutions – partners, sex, money, work, addictions. But none of these satisfy the deep longing for peace which can only be found within. And there are plenty of traders and performers willing to tout their wares to the sad, desperate and lonely (I am not talking about genuine readers as I am a reader myself). Many offer ‘solutions’ in the way of specific theories and belief systems that sell the idea that their suffering is meant to be for some higher soul purpose and, if they just hang on in there and suffer that little bit more, everything will work out in the end. They are ‘doing their work’, ‘the other is coming towards you soon’, or ‘wanting to communicate but are afraid to for [insert reason/excuse]’. Of course, it never does. It is like the Rapture – the date keeps changing and so do the rules. It is a game that cannot be won other than by those who make up the rules, leaving the heartbroken and the lonely holding onto an empty cup that will never be filled. It is in the very nature of the human to be loved and to dangle the idea of a love that will never come before the lost and the lonely is cruel, cynical and deeply unethical.

  Only at the point of giving up on everything, even life itself, do we often see the light. It may come as the rising of a new dawn or it may come as a lightning bolt that tears your life asunder. But the destruction of all we know is an essential part of the process of Becoming. It is at this point we surrender – to God, to Jesus, to the Goddess, to Source or whatever belief you hold – and let go. Utterly. And to let go is to become a child again. To allow the Source to see you there, standing naked and unafraid, with the last of the old life falling away, the negative parts of the Ego dying. The process I speak of it painful and yet deeply euphoric. The purges that follow, traumatic but deeply healing and cathartic. It has to hurt if it is to heal. In order to know light you must first walk through the darkness. There is no other way. Holding onto the old systems and programs will never make you happy or whole.

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So How Do You Get To This Place?

  The first thing you will start to notice is the feeling that ‘something’ isn’t quite right. In the beginning you may not be able to put your finger on it but, over time, you will start to see that things are not fitting together as they once did. DO NOT IGNORE THIS. This is your intuition, or your ‘Spidey Senses’ working as they should. Beliefs and ideas you once held as gospel no longer sit right with you. You begin to question everything, even yourself. This is perfectly normal. What isn’t normal is NOT questioning anything.

  1. As you start to question everything, those around you will start to question YOU. Your sanity, your state of mind. Do not doubt yourself at this early stage. You are starting to awaken and leaving the old notions, ideas, programs and beliefs behind.
  2. Others will want to keep you in the Matrix. They will challenge you, even go as far as to say you need psychiatric help. You do not. Stay the course.
  3. Find some useful beginners meditation videos on Youtube to get you started. Learning to clear your mind and forge that essential connection to Source and to your Self, your inner core. Think of yourself as a fortress or a temple. You are your sanctuary. You do not need anything else. You don’t need any special training or classes. There are plenty of helpful meditation guides online for you to use.
  4. Remember – you do not need anyone to validate your existence or your experience. We hear a lot about others being ‘invalidated’ by others. You can only invalidate yourself. You are ultimately responsible for yourself. No-one else. Own yourself. Take care of yourself and your body, mind and spirit.
  5. No-one is responsible for how you feel. No-one is responsible for your happiness. Never place your happiness in the hands of another. Do not give away your power like that. You are not responsible for the happiness of others either. Accept personal responsibility. Own your mistakes and rectify them if you can.
  6. Change what you can and accept what you cannot. Life happens. You cannot control life, but you can control how it affects you. Take ownership of how you feel during troubled times. Seek help when you need it but do not fall into the trap of expecting others to solve your problems for you. YOU have all the answers you need. You just need to look in the right places, or have patience and the answers will come when you are not looking for them.
  7. Accept you know nothing, or very little about the world. I don’t mean this in an offensive way. But be open to everything. Practice discernment and critical thinking. If something does not fit, don’t try to make it fit. If you do not agree, accept you do not agree and move on.
  8. Not everyone is going to agree with you. Getting angry and arguing the toss solves nothing. Before engaging in an argument, ask yourself – is it worth the time and effort? What will I gain from this? Does it really matter? Can I spend my time and energy in a better and more productive way? It’s not backing down, it’s simply not engaging. There is a difference.
  9. Not everyone has your best interests at heart. Beware of those who come into your life and claim to ‘make things better’ or ‘save you’. If you are vulnerable, there are those who will latch onto you and will make themselves indispensable in your life. They do so because, more often than not, they have co-dependence issues and need constant validation in order to feel ‘whole’ and ‘complete’. These people will often be very intense very quickly – claiming to be ‘soul-mates’ or ‘best friends’. Be very careful. A lot of these individuals are predatory and will often exhibit unstable behaviours bordering on criminal such as coercive, emotionally and mentally abusive behaviour, and stalking. During the awakening process, co-dependents around you will hold on even tighter and escalate their behaviour as, at some point, you will come to understand the nature of the situation and take appropriate action.
  10. You have a choice who you associate with. At this time you will find yourself both losing and gaining friends. As you ascend, the friends you once had will no longer resonate with you as they once did. Do not feel guilty about moving on. New pastures await. You always have a choice about who you have in your life. If you choose good, healthy relationships, you will have a good healthy experience with those people. If you choose drama, co-dependency, manipulation and tantrums, then you will receive nothing but misery and depression. This in turn, will affect all aspects of your life – work, other relationships, family, health. Remember – you always have a choice and choices have consequences however unintended. You are who you associate with. 
  11. You will begin to suffer from bouts of depression. This is entirely normal. Your old programs are breaking down. They have to in order to make way for new, healthier ones to take their place. As you awaken, you will veer between depression and euphoria. I suggest you seek counselling if you feel the depression if negatively impacting your life. There may be underlying issues you need help with.
  12. Engage with inner child work. If your childhood was less that perfect, it is worth addressing your inner child. Some counselling services provide this support. Alternatively, there are helpful meditations online that will guide you through the inner child healing process. Inner child work is essential if you want to heal fully.
  13. You may find yourself interested in subjects that did not interest you before. READ. READ. READ. Remember – knowledge is power but again, do not get trapped in another false belief loop that will make you miserable.
  14. Knowledge should make you feel happy, light, excited and full of joy. If something or a theory, belief system or program makes you feel uncomfortable or unhappy, then it is NOT FOR YOU. Do not feel obliged to partake in it. Whatever lowers your vibration and makes you sad and miserable is to be avoided. That is NOT to say you need to avoid your feelings.
  15. FEEL YOUR FEELINGS. Never avoid your feelings. Part of the problem humans have is that they feel the need to hide their emotions. At this time you will be feeling very emotional. It is VITAL you feel ALL your emotions. Laugh, cry, feel joy, feel misery. Accept all your emotions and feel them freely and without guilt or shame. Never apologise for your feelings for you apologise for the truth. Be at peace with your feelings and they will not haunt you as they once did.

  This is by no means an exhaustive list. The awakening process is huge and complex and life-changing. But if one begins with the small things, bigger and more meaningful things will follow. Start by knowing that you are one soul, one being, a spiritual being with a direct connection to God/Goddess/Source. Everything is entirely within your power. Don’t give it away to those who claim to know how to ‘make it better’, ‘know the answers’. No-one can save you except yourself. You will never find true happiness outside of yourself if you continue to plug the emotional leaks with those just like you who are seeking answers of their own. It can only lead to misery, depression, suffering and ruin.

  If you need help and support, please, always took to those who work within the light. There are those who work, not from Source, but from Ego. Be mindful of these people.

TAKE THE POWER YOU ONCE GAVE AWAY TO OTHERS AND GIVE IT BACK TO YOURSELF. THAT IS WHERE THE MAGIC LIES. THAT IS WHEN TRUE MIRACLES CAN HAPPEN. 

TRUST YOURSELF.

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Your Friend in Love and Light

Imeldra Moonpaw

 

Do Grimalkins Dream? The Magical Healing Power of Dreams (Part 1)

What is a Dream?

  “A dream is a succession of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations that usually occur involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep.[1] The content and purpose of dreams are not fully understood, although they have been a topic of scientific, philosophical and religious interest throughout recorded history. Dream interpretation is the attempt at drawing meaning from dreams and searching for an underlying message. The scientific study of dreams is called oneirology.[2] 

  “Dreams mainly occur in the rapid-eye movement (REM) stage of sleep—when brain activity is high and resembles that of being awake. REM sleep is revealed by continuous movements of the eyes during sleep. At times, dreams may occur during other stages of sleep. However, these dreams tend to be much less vivid or memorable.[3] The length of a dream can vary; they may last for a few seconds, or approximately 20–30 minutes.[3] People are more likely to remember the dream if they are awakened during the REM phase. The average person has three to five dreams per night, and some may have up to seven;[4] however, most dreams are immediately or quickly forgotten.[5] Dreams tend to last longer as the night progresses. During a full eight-hour night sleep, most dreams occur in the typical two hours of REM.[6] Dreams related to waking-life experiences are associated with REM theta activity, which suggests that emotional memory processing takes place in REM sleep.[7] ” – SOURCE – Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dream)

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  Dreams, when understood by the dreamer, have the potential to aid self-healing and enable one to discover more about oneself. The dream is often a reflection of the inner world of the dreamer, which is why I will be focusing on this rather than the technicalities of the dream itself. But we cannot discuss dreaming without touching on the types of dreams we experience. They are –

The Physiological Dream – when our dream is telling us something is occurring within the body such as needing to go to the toilet, pain or discomfort, sickness etc.

The Psychological Dream – when our dream is telling us we need to address some issue that is happening in our lives. These issues we may or may not be aware of. It all depends on the dream and its symbolism. Also related to the Recurring Dream.

The Nightmare – dreams that are in response to some sort of stressor in our lives. Also goes hand in hand with Psychological dreams. Pay close attention to what is in the dream as they will often present you with the solution to the problem if analysed correctly.

The Prophetic Dream – a dream in which you foresee a forthcoming event or events that are going on in the waking world that you have no knowledge of but dream about nonetheless.

The Recurring Dream – often repetitive with the same themes or symbolism. It is important to take note of these dreams as they, along with psychological dreams, often point to underlying internal issues that need to be resolved.

The Epic Dream – Dreams that are so huge and monumental you cannot ignore or forget them. Some of these dreams can be life-changing. More often than not, they are LUCID dreams, which I will go into detail with later on. Also known as God-dreams

The Lucid Dream – the dream in which you are fully aware you are dreaming and can control aspects of your dream and what is going on around you. False awakenings often happen in lucid dreams.

False Awakenings – false awakenings occur when you are dreaming, ‘wake up’ then realise you are still dreaming.

  Dreams serve an important function in our lives. When we dream, our minds are free to wander and compartmentalise all that has happened throughout the day. Most of the dreams we cannot remember when we wake, but some dreams we do and these are the ones we need to take note of. The dreams we experience and remember long after we have dreamed them are usually stored in our long-term memory. I can remember dreams I had twenty years ago, as clear as though I dreamed them last night. It is easy to learn how to use our dreams to learn more about ourselves and how they can heal us and how they can help us solve our problems. But first we need to understand how dreams communicate with us.

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  I believe that, when we dream, we are actually talking to ourselves. Our Higher Selves are communicating with us from a higher plane and so the information imparted to us through dreams can be trusted. Dream interpretation can be complex and confusing so let me start by saying that dreams are like picture books. Dreams talk in symbols and metaphors. A dream will present information to you in a way you can understand so long as you have the code. The code will be your own. For example – I often have dragon dreams. Dragons, to me, mean personal power and spiritual ascension. But to someone else, a dragon may be a frightening beast that is to be overcome and slain. Dream dictionaries can be useful (I would stay away from dream dictionaries that ‘predict’ things such as if you dream of a ring it means you will get an offer of marriage etc.). Instead, I recommend books that refer to the psychological meanings of dreams. I have a dictionary by Tony Crisp that is old and well- thumbed. Carl Jung, the eminent psychologist, is also a good place to start. He discussed the Collective Unconscious – the shared knowledge we all have – and the importance of dreams. In time you will build up your own list of personal meanings of your own dream symbols.

Learning to Dream – Lucid Dreaming

  Many people have asked me about lucid dreaming. To them, it appears like some sort of magical ability that only a select few can do. This is not true. Anyone can learn to dream lucidly. I started purely by accident. Here is how I started to train myself to dream lucidly. back in 2001 I had a very vivid dream. Not an epic dream, but one I thought was significant. It stuck with me for the rest of the day so I thought I’d better write it down. I took a new journal and wrote down my first dream. I didn’t analyse it, I just wrote down what I remembered then forgot about it. A few days later I had another vivid dream so I wrote that down too. This time I wrote down every detail I could remember and speculated on what it meant. I did this for a few months (and bought myself the Tony Crisp book) and eventually I had my first lucid dream. It was an awesome experience. I believe that the process of actively and consciously remembering my dreams somehow forged a pathway in my brain that allowed for me to dream lucidly. There was no ‘technique’ involved, no special breathing, no affirmations before sleep. It was the conscious and wilful recollection and analysis of dreams I could remember that enabled me to develop the ability of lucid dreaming. It was as simple as that.

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  During a lucid dream you will experience far more than you would in a ‘normal’ dream. Lucid dreaming allows you to solve long-standing problems and travel astrally to other places. The mind, in this state, can transcend even space and time. We can converse with those in the Otherworld and, indeed, take a glimpse through the Veil and see what lies in store for us when we leave the mortal world. Dreams, as well as being a means of self-discovery, are also a way of transcending the boundaries of this world to the next and to other dimensions. Such wisdom can be gained from such travels. Lucid dreaming is the ticket to other dimensions and to the vast storehouse of the Self.

  Spirit will also find a way of speaking to you through dreams. Loved ones who have gone before find it easier to communicate with you in this state as you are open and receptive. But I will suggest you protect yourself from unwanted attention by sealing yourself inside a sphere of light before bed and repeating the affirmation “only the good and the pure may enter here. I am safe and protected by [your own personal belief system].”

If You Die in Your Dream, Can You Die in Real Life?

  The simple answer to this is NO. This myth has been perpetuated for a very long time. “Death Dreams” are not to be ignored however. It means that you are undergoing a significant change that may involve the letting go of something or part of yourself that no longer serves you. A death dream sometimes involves a false awakening. When you ‘die’ in a dream, you essentially fall asleep, in the dream. After which you either wake up physically, or you experience a false awakening and find yourself in another place, environment or, in some cases, dimension. Death dreams are not to be feared. Examine them closely and see what is going on around you and what is happening in your waking life. It may mean that major changes are needed or are currently taking place. Either way, it is all for the highest good. You may even catch a glimpse of Heaven.

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Finding Strength and Healing in Truth – The Inner Child and Healing Old Wounds

  It takes a great deal of courage to look in the mirror, to face oneself and say “I can’t go on like this. Something needs to change.” We all go through the Dark Night of the Soul at some time in our lives, often many times. We may think that our lives are collapsing around our ears. That is as it may be, but this is an important time. The time we go through this period is perhaps THE most important time in our lives for it destroys everything we know – old programs, beliefs, ways of thinking, doing and behaving that have caused us harm and unhappiness, that have held us back and seemingly denied us the things we so desperately desire in life, and leaves room to just BREATHE.

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  But first we must be truthful and vulnerable with ourselves. We must tell ourselves the truth, talk with ourselves and go to those places inside that we have ignored and denied for so long. We are often unhappy because of some deep-seated childhood trauma that has lain long-forgotten but plays out nonetheless in our present lives – the absent father, the emotionally unavailable mother, the bullying siblings or peers. The Dark Night of the Soul brings all these traumas to the surface in order for them to be healed. The Higher Self WANTS you to be healed. It WANTS you to be the best version of yourself. That is why the issues long supressed will continue to find a way of resurfacing until they are brought into the light to be examined, felt fully and with compassion and understanding, then let go.

The Inner Child

  This is where we must connect with our inner child. The child within is pure, it is innocent. The child within you did not ask to be brought into the world, did not ask to be abandoned, did not ask to be scorned and neglected by its mother, not abused, beaten or broken. No, my friends, the child within you did not ask to be here but you are here nonetheless. You are here for a reason. You may not know what that reason is as we are not meant to know all the answers, but you being here means that it is MEANT. So, whenever you feel you do not deserve to be here, or feel worthless remember, God/Goddess/Source/the Universe orchestrated your being here. But sometimes you are not meant to know why.

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  The inner child is often wounded and, as a result, we fear rejection, abandonment, love, affection, success. A domineering and unaffectionate parent may produce a person who fears giving and accepting love. To revisit that time is a traumatic yet powerful experience. But you must remember – you are not that child anymore. You must tell your child-self that it was not their fault, that they were not to blame for the actions of the ones who could not even cope with their own lives, let alone the life of an innocent child. Say to your child-self they deserve love and protection. Say that it is different now. Love is safe and those who truly love you will never hurt or leave you. Say to that child that it will never happen again and that all the monsters have gone. It is a different world now – the Dragon is no longer to be feared, but is your ally. Whenever you feel the fear of rejection or abandonment, remember where it comes from and that you are not the scared vulnerable child you once were. Step into your power. Stop giving it away to others.

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  There is a misconception that baring your soul leaves you vulnerable. In some cases, it can leave you open to manipulation and abuse, it is true. But there is also great strength and healing in truth-telling. Long have we been told to keep it in, not say how we feel, keep things to ourselves. But what purpose does that serve? The things and feelings we hold inside of us, if not expressed, can become toxic and destructive, resulting in unhappiness and resentment. In extreme cases, a sense of failure, desperation, anger and depression. While in some cases it may be wise to hold our tongues for diplomacy’s sake, when it comes to matters of the heart and healing, there is no greater strength than letting all that has been ailing you for so long go, to talk with a trusted friend or counsellor, to examine why you feel the way you do and to say it. Purge the past and the negative feelings that go with it. I have kept a journal for decades. It has been my friend and counsellor as my Higher Self often comes through during moments of clarity. Harbouring the darkness inside you serves no purpose. You deserve happiness. You deserve success. You deserve love. You are a spiritual being having a human (or Grimalkin) experience. Always remember that.

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Finding Strength in Truth

  Living the best version of yourself takes no effort. Once you start not caring about what others think of you, once you stop trying to please others (which is a Sisyphean task), once we stop apologising and capitulating, we find we have more energy and time to do the things we want to. Living a lie and trying to hide your light from the world is tiring, depressing, soul-destroying and ultimately detrimental to your health. There is no reason for you to hide your light. You ARE a BEING of LIGHT. Your skills, your creativity, your personality, your individuality sets you apart from everyone else. There is no-one in the Universe like you. That makes you special. Never forget that. The more you live your truth, the stronger you will become. Inevitably, you will have times when you are ill, or you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. We all feel like that sometimes. It is part of being mortal. But to live a little more in truth every day will make you that little more happier, fulfilled, healthier, and able to feel emotions freely and without guilt or shame. There is no shame in being YOU. To open your heart to the world is not a weakness – it is a strength. To feel the fear, the fear of rejection, the fear of ridicule, abandonment and even abuse and to do it anyway, is strength. Let no-one tell you otherwise. If you can do that – love without fear – then you are a much better and healthier person than you were yesterday. I don’t doubt that it is hard. It takes time. Old wounds run deep. Very deep. But all wounds heal and healing starts with the self – self-acceptance, truth, healthy boundaries, learning to say no, giving yourself time to stop, breathe and relax without the cacophony of noise and drama and chaos around you.

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 You deserve happiness so start with yourself. That is where it always starts and where it always ends.

Yours, Always,

Imeldra Moonpaw.

 

 

 

Taking the Road Less Travelled – As Dumbledore said; a Choice Between What is Right and What is Easy.

  You are wandering through a forest alone. Suddenly you are presented with two paths – the path to the right is sunlit, with neat grassy verges. Flowers grow. There are bees and butterflies. A blackbird trills in the undergrowth. It is pleasant. You have a vague sense of the destination to which this path will take you. You sense the approval of your friends, family and peers should you take this path. It is inviting. Secure. Familiar.

  To the left is another. It is somewhat darker, full of gnarled old pines, yews and hawthorns. Their branches seem to want to reach out and grab you and pull at your clothes. You can smell the damp and the decay. You can hear the hooting of an owl and the rustling of the leaves of an unknown creature passing by. Here are wolves and bears and battleswine. It is a dangerous path. Here, you sense your friends, family and peers telling you  not to go. You see the anger, disapproval and disappointment on their faces in your mind’s eye.

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  And yet, you know there is something just beyond the tangle of thorns and grasping branches. Here the nights are dark and moonless. Here are deep caves and steep ravines. Here be hags and spirits and ghosts of the past you thought had long gone.

  You notice two marker stones – the marker stone pointing to the right is in the shape of a unicorn. The one to the left is in the shape of a dragon. You look to the right and you can hear merry music and smell delicious food. It is enticing. But you know this is an illusion as, when you look to the right, to where the dragon is pointing, you know that is where the truth lies. You see, the unicorn represents magic;  to be precise – glamour, illusion. The dragon has always represented old magic and treasure and, in particular, the treasure of the soul. You cannot simply happen upon this treasure. No – you must earn it.

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  It would be all to easy to take the path to the right, follow the unicorn and satisfy everyone around you, to be safe and secure in all that you know and love. But to what cost? At some stage there will come a time when you will experience that yearning deep inside your soul as to why you are here, what your purpose is, what is the truth to your situation if any. Facing the dragon is always terrifying but taking up the sword and trying to slay it is not, and has never been, the answer. The dragon lies in the deepest parts of  your inner world, but to get there you must take the path to the left, and leave all of your previous assumptions, ideas, fears and follies aside. Yes, to take the path you must even go against those closest to you if they do not approve for they, in many cases, have kept you blinded by glamour and illusion for whatever reason. Sometimes, for their own selfish reasons. Blinded by the  false glamour-light of the right hand path, they have kept you blind to the truth of who you are.

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  You move forward and, as you pass the dragon marker, the trees close behind you for there is no going back once you have awoken. Once your eyes have opened to the truth of the false light, there is no going back. You must go ahead into the darkness and face all that has haunted you throughout your life. Only then will you see the truth, bring it to bear and then be free as a result of it, whether it brings you joy or sadness. For this path, too, has an end, but it is an end of your choosing.

  Ultimately you will face the dragon at the end of your journey but instead of taking  up arms against it, will you converse with it? Confront it? Befriend it? What will you do to convince it to relinquish the treasure it holds for you? Well, that all depends on your journey through the dark forest and what demons, ghosts or creatures you fight. Will it be the ghosts of childhood trauma, or the monster of your own ego or fear that you will face?

  It is important to remember that this journey is a soul journey, one that leads to enlightenment and a happier, more fulfilling life if that is what you choose. But old wounds that have long been neglected all lie along the left hand path and all need addressing. The first foes you will meet on the road are fear and ego. Overcome these and the rest is merely a journey of discovery. Embrace the darkness for it has much to teach us – The gnarled old yew holds the Ogham oracle, the wolf will act as your guide along the road, the hag will impart wisdom, the ghosts will give you messages from those who have passed on, the battleswine will forge a path through the brambles so you can find another route you wouldn’t necessarily have taken. With each fear comes a new opportunity to learn and grow as a person and as a Universal Being. These trials will help you connect with the Source.

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  If you do not already do so, learn to meditate. Or, at least, set time aside each day and be still, even if it is only for five or ten minutes. There is much wisdom and guidance to be had in those moments of silence and inactivity. Take each day as it comes. Taking the left hand path is not easy, but it is right for there lies the truth at the end, whatever that truth means to you. But it means walking through darkness first for in doing so, can we really appreciate the true light, not the false light presented to us by the way of quick fixes, social media, meaningless cliches and self-styled lifestyle gurus who claim to have all the answers. YOU have all the answers you will ever need if you look within. But you can and will face opposition from those who want to keep you blind, keep you tethered, bridled. You cannot bridle a dragon. Follow it no matter what those around you say. Do what you feel is right, not what is easy and, more importantly, easiest for other people.

  Live this life in truth as much as you can. Fear not the dragon or the darkness. Do not take up arms against the dragon. Befriend it and earn the treasure of your soul.

Yours in Love and Light

Imeldra Moonpaw

 

Transformation and Awakening During the Dark Time -Healing and the Coming of Spring

  Greetings, my human friends. February is, as they say, the coldest month and, as Imbolc approaches, you may be forgiven for thinking it is a false dawn. While the snowdrops and crocuses may be peering out from the frosty ground, the dark days are not yet over for this is a kind of no-man’s land between winter and spring. The plants and the flowers may want to emerge but the winter is still clinging to all things living. It is a tough time for all beings.

  For some, the winter is a difficult time. For those living in the north, the lack of sunlight may be having an affect of their mental and physical well-being. The world is in a curious state of upheaval and no-one seems to know when or how it will all end. But we can only do the best we can with what we have and forge ahead with both optimism and realism for I sense that things have not yet settled into their new places yet.

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  The Shift has been something of a life-changing event for some. In some cases, life events have forced individuals into a realisation that their old ways of thinking, feeling and doing are no longer working for them. Old programmes and patterns of behaviours were limiting, restricting, suffocating. A sudden shift in awareness perhaps allowed them to break free of those patterns and enabled them to say and do things they would never have said or done before due to ego or fear. Moving beyond those things is a huge step into becoming the person (or Grimalkin) you are meant to be and this can have a snowball effect. But make no mistake – this sudden awakening is not always rainbows and starlight and Buddhist chants. It can, and does, alter your life to the point of no return. It will turn your life upside down.

  Waking up means you see things differently, see people differently, see situations differently. You may have followed one pattern of behaviour only to wake up the next day and think “hang on, this no longer makes sense.” But the difference is you know WHY it no longer makes sense. You begin to question everything and everyone. You analyse and pick apart everything, every relationship in your life and ask yourself “Does this make me happy? Is this working for me? Where am I going? Why am I stuck and how can I get myself unstuck?” The Higher Self WANTS you to wake up, to change and make your life better because it is what you are meant to be doing. But this process also brings with it loss, disappointment and sometimes heartbreak when we realise that those around us are not who we thought they were, or are with us because it is convenient, or the job you have is only a security blanket that you cling to because you are afraid of spreading your wings and showing your true light to the world, or the values you have no longer fit in with the values you see on television, or in the papers, or on line, or in the world in general. Everything seems so out of place. YOU seem out of place. It is disorientating and frustrating and can drive you crazy. But remember- you are in your rightful place and time. Right now.

Yes, waking up can be devastating. You will inevitably lose the things you love and, like the no-man’s land we are in before the spring, can be a frightening and uncertain time as we are letting go of the old life with no lifebuoy to hold on to. As such, we can feel as though we are drowning. Leaving a job because you know it is detrimental to your health and well-being is terrifying – how will you pay the bills? How will you manage? Will the ideas I have for my own business work? What if I fail? They are all questions that will do circuits around your head, keeping you trapped in fear.

 

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Leaving behind people you once loved is probably the hardest of all. Your shift in consciousness almost always brings truth and sometimes that truth is painful. It is hard because for the longest time you thought those people would always be around, always be part of your life, always share your greatest achievements and your deepest despair. But when you wake up, you will sometimes see that it was not always the case; that those you thought cared the most about, never cared or wanted to be part of your life after all, or that those who you thought you could rely on walked away when you needed them most. It leaves you feeling bereft. Empty. Left with a feeling of nowhere to go.

  The most painful part of all of the awakening process is the perception that you lied to yourself. This is not the case. You believed in the best of people; you acted on the knowledge you had at the time. Forgive yourself for not knowing. Forgive yourself for not being awake. Forgive yourself for caring too much – it is not a crime to love but remember that love is not always returned. It is okay not to feel okay about this. With awakening comes the ability to give love to those who you feel have earned it. You can be wise with your feelings now rather than love blindly and giving freely. Your cup needs to be full before it is offered to others. If you cannot love yourself, then at least accept yourself. It is a start. Meditate. The Great Mother/God/Universe/your Higher Self has love for everyone. More than enough. Ask and you shall receive with abundance.

  The Dark Time is also a time of healing so if anyone is feeling the effects of loss because of their awakening, please know it will not last. The colours will return to the world, the scents of the flowers will come back more fragrant than before. Remember, with awakening comes enlightenment so, like the spring, new things will grow and flourish. Allow the old things to die to make room for new life and new opportunities. Make room for those who want to stand by your side and let go of those who do not. Life is too short and time to precious. You have to make life happen for yourself despite the heartache this process may have caused. But this is a necessary process – it is almost like a waking death only for you to be transformed into something better on the other side. Allow yourself to be reborn wiser and more knowledgeable and spiritual than before.

  Be mindful that winter doesn’t last forever. Be kind to yourself in this dark time. Heal, spend time with trusted friends or your animal friends. Hand all your cares, worries and woes over to the Great Mother, God, the Universe or the creator of your understanding. It is all part of the soul’s journey to a better you.

Brightest Blessings in these Dark Days
Imeldra Moonpaw

The Deepening Darkness and the Time of Letting Go

  Greetings, my human friends. It has been a while since I posted a blog but one has been busy and a little frazzled. The old bones are not working as they should and I needed rest after what has been a tumultuous year. But, my dearest friends, the time is coming for us to gather together at Deepening Darkness to feast, to celebrate, and to reflect on all we have done this year. And to reflect on those we have loved and lost.

  Yes, my friends, it has been a year of loss as a dear friend passed peacefully over to the Otherworld in the Summer after a short illness. The Great Mother saw his suffering and took him gently into Her arms and took him home to join the rest of those waiting for us in the Summerlands. I see him in dreams sometimes, healthy and whole, the way he was before old age, sickness and death took him. While I do feel sad he cannot be with us for our Mordrach celebrations, I know he is celebrating with our loved ones beyond the Veil, happy and pain-free. So, Leo, me old friend, we shall raise a tankard or two for you this year. You are dearly missed.

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  And so, as we reflect on all we have done throughout the year, we also look back on the things we could, or maybe should have done. Mordrach is a time of reflection, but also a time of regret; we regret not spending enough time studying, or tending to our everyday tasks, or spending time with friends or family. We may regret harsh words spoken, or words not spoken at all. That ache in the heart not acted upon, or that phrase on the tip of the tongue left unspoken that could have made all the difference in the world to someone without even realising it. The fear of the unknown or how others may react to our declarations of support, love and affection binding us like vines that constrict and then strangle even the strongest of oaks, causing it to whither and die in sorrow and contrition. It is easier to seek forgiveness than permission, but to look back on the things you wish you had done but didn’t can cause one great pain. And it is at the time of Deepening Darkness we have such a long time to reflect on that. A long time indeed.

  The Time of Deepest Darkness is also a time of letting go. As the Black Horse of Winter vanquishes Shamash Sun-Cat, he lets go of his magnificent mane of gold. Light leaves the world and we are left in darkness to contemplate our fate and what is to come. For some, letting go is a much-needed relief – holding on to what does not serve you only causes great harm and suffering to your soul, and to unburden yourself is an act of healing and self-discovery. But for some, letting go is painful. The things we love sometimes need to be let go of if they no longer serve us, or do not wish to stay. It is not for us to hold on to  them for they are not ours to keep; you cannot keep a wild bird in a cage for it is against nature and an act of unkindness. No matter how much you love something, or someone, when they no longer wish to be part of your world, you have to let them go. The seasons turn and life continues, indifferent to the suffering of mortals. We can, but hope, to find a way to regain our strength as Shamash does in spring as his mane of gold grows back to its original magnificence and brings light back to the world.

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As the Old Grimalkin saying goes “it is easier to hold on the the one you hate than to let go of the one you love.”

 

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  But for all we have to let things go, we never stop loving them, be they things or memories or individuals. Sometimes the greatest act of love is to release someone from the binds we may have placed upon them, to free them from the obligation that they need to stay, to be around you out of a sense of guilt or duty. But always try and speak the truth of your heart before doing so because letting someone go before you have spoken your truth can be a burden your soul will have to bear for all your earthly days. Live not with sorrow and regret as I have done. Speak your truth and be not afraid. Follow not the path of one who was too afraid and too proud to do so. Yes, even I can falter and fall by the wayside.

  I hope all who read my blog find peace and happiness at this uncertain time. I am sorry it wasn’t full of Yuletide cheer but, like all things, happiness comes with a measure of sorrow and there are times when we have to experience that sad times to appreciate the good ones.

Healing Blessings to you all,

Your Friend

Imeldra.