Archives

Finding Strength and Healing in Truth – The Inner Child and Healing Old Wounds

  It takes a great deal of courage to look in the mirror, to face oneself and say “I can’t go on like this. Something needs to change.” We all go through the Dark Night of the Soul at some time in our lives, often many times. We may think that our lives are collapsing around our ears. That is as it may be, but this is an important time. The time we go through this period is perhaps THE most important time in our lives for it destroys everything we know – old programs, beliefs, ways of thinking, doing and behaving that have caused us harm and unhappiness, that have held us back and seemingly denied us the things we so desperately desire in life, and leaves room to just BREATHE.

healing1

  But first we must be truthful and vulnerable with ourselves. We must tell ourselves the truth, talk with ourselves and go to those places inside that we have ignored and denied for so long. We are often unhappy because of some deep-seated childhood trauma that has lain long-forgotten but plays out nonetheless in our present lives – the absent father, the emotionally unavailable mother, the bullying siblings or peers. The Dark Night of the Soul brings all these traumas to the surface in order for them to be healed. The Higher Self WANTS you to be healed. It WANTS you to be the best version of yourself. That is why the issues long supressed will continue to find a way of resurfacing until they are brought into the light to be examined, felt fully and with compassion and understanding, then let go.

The Inner Child

  This is where we must connect with our inner child. The child within is pure, it is innocent. The child within you did not ask to be brought into the world, did not ask to be abandoned, did not ask to be scorned and neglected by its mother, not abused, beaten or broken. No, my friends, the child within you did not ask to be here but you are here nonetheless. You are here for a reason. You may not know what that reason is as we are not meant to know all the answers, but you being here means that it is MEANT. So, whenever you feel you do not deserve to be here, or feel worthless remember, God/Goddess/Source/the Universe orchestrated your being here. But sometimes you are not meant to know why.

leo

  The inner child is often wounded and, as a result, we fear rejection, abandonment, love, affection, success. A domineering and unaffectionate parent may produce a person who fears giving and accepting love. To revisit that time is a traumatic yet powerful experience. But you must remember – you are not that child anymore. You must tell your child-self that it was not their fault, that they were not to blame for the actions of the ones who could not even cope with their own lives, let alone the life of an innocent child. Say to your child-self they deserve love and protection. Say that it is different now. Love is safe and those who truly love you will never hurt or leave you. Say to that child that it will never happen again and that all the monsters have gone. It is a different world now – the Dragon is no longer to be feared, but is your ally. Whenever you feel the fear of rejection or abandonment, remember where it comes from and that you are not the scared vulnerable child you once were. Step into your power. Stop giving it away to others.

drogon4

  There is a misconception that baring your soul leaves you vulnerable. In some cases, it can leave you open to manipulation and abuse, it is true. But there is also great strength and healing in truth-telling. Long have we been told to keep it in, not say how we feel, keep things to ourselves. But what purpose does that serve? The things and feelings we hold inside of us, if not expressed, can become toxic and destructive, resulting in unhappiness and resentment. In extreme cases, a sense of failure, desperation, anger and depression. While in some cases it may be wise to hold our tongues for diplomacy’s sake, when it comes to matters of the heart and healing, there is no greater strength than letting all that has been ailing you for so long go, to talk with a trusted friend or counsellor, to examine why you feel the way you do and to say it. Purge the past and the negative feelings that go with it. I have kept a journal for decades. It has been my friend and counsellor as my Higher Self often comes through during moments of clarity. Harbouring the darkness inside you serves no purpose. You deserve happiness. You deserve success. You deserve love. You are a spiritual being having a human (or Grimalkin) experience. Always remember that.

healing2

Finding Strength in Truth

  Living the best version of yourself takes no effort. Once you start not caring about what others think of you, once you stop trying to please others (which is a Sisyphean task), once we stop apologising and capitulating, we find we have more energy and time to do the things we want to. Living a lie and trying to hide your light from the world is tiring, depressing, soul-destroying and ultimately detrimental to your health. There is no reason for you to hide your light. You ARE a BEING of LIGHT. Your skills, your creativity, your personality, your individuality sets you apart from everyone else. There is no-one in the Universe like you. That makes you special. Never forget that. The more you live your truth, the stronger you will become. Inevitably, you will have times when you are ill, or you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. We all feel like that sometimes. It is part of being mortal. But to live a little more in truth every day will make you that little more happier, fulfilled, healthier, and able to feel emotions freely and without guilt or shame. There is no shame in being YOU. To open your heart to the world is not a weakness – it is a strength. To feel the fear, the fear of rejection, the fear of ridicule, abandonment and even abuse and to do it anyway, is strength. Let no-one tell you otherwise. If you can do that – love without fear – then you are a much better and healthier person than you were yesterday. I don’t doubt that it is hard. It takes time. Old wounds run deep. Very deep. But all wounds heal and healing starts with the self – self-acceptance, truth, healthy boundaries, learning to say no, giving yourself time to stop, breathe and relax without the cacophony of noise and drama and chaos around you.

leo 2

 You deserve happiness so start with yourself. That is where it always starts and where it always ends.

Yours, Always,

Imeldra Moonpaw.

 

 

 

Beauty, Love and the Small Things That Can Bring Us Peace

  It is often said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some believe beauty is on the surface – a beautiful face, a beautiful body, a beautiful painting, or beautiful flower. While in some cases that may be the case, true beauty is more than what we see with our eyes. True beauty is what we see and feel with our heart.

  What you value or deem beautiful is often a reflection of yourself; if you can see the beauty in yourself – your values, honesty, integrity, the love you have for others and other beings, it makes you beautiful on the outside. If you can bring out the best in others, that is beautiful. If you have compassion for those less fortunate, that is beautiful.

  Forgiveness is beautiful. While some find it hard to forgive (and that is okay), when we choose to forgive others it is beautiful. We may feel hurt and resentful one day, then the deep, transformative power of sleep, dreams and love we hold deep within allows us to forgive others their transgressions, whether they have truly hurt us, or it is a perceived hurt. It brings forth the ability to move beyond to a place where our hearts can see clearly again. The dawn rises on a new day and yesterday’s woes and sorrows slowly fade into memory. The love we kept locked away because of those hurts comes forward once again through forgiveness, and that too, is beautiful. It brings peace and balance. But remember, forgiveness is always a choice.

  Human beings suffer terribly because of the perceived nature of beauty. Grimalkins have no such affliction. Human beings, for the most part, judge themselves based on how they look to others, how attractive they are, how much approval they receive from others. They place their worth in the hands of others who too, do not know their own worth either. Let me tell you how Grimalkins value beauty.

beautiful soul

  Grimalkins are self aware, yes, but we are introspective. We understand that each one of us is different – big, small, black, grey, calico etc. We are mindful of our existence every day. We place value on ourselves, not by the colour of our fur or how long our whiskers are. No, we measure our worth by the values and principles we hold. Take my family – the Moonpaws. Our motto is Wisdom Before Knowledge. I find self worth and beauty in teaching youngsters to read and write, by sharing history and encouraging curiosity and a sense of yearning for knowledge in the individuals I meet. It makes me feel good and worthy because I have something to share that inspires others. So you see, your worth comes from inside, not from outside, not from approval from others. I may not get a thank you, but to see someone set off on an academic journey with excitement is more than enough to fill my heart with joy. That is where true self worth lies.

beauty2

  Grimalkins live in the moment. We change and improve the things we can change and accept the things we cannot. We express gratitude for the things we have for it is the small things in our lives that can bring us great joy and comfort. We do (or try not to) worry about the morrow. We do not live in fear as humans do – fear of what others may think, feel or do. We say how we feel because our words may make a difference, but they may not. But we never know. It doesn’t matter. Living without fear is beautiful. It opens up a wealth of possibilities that lead on to more beautiful things. Pride and ego are not things Grimalkins are too afflicted by. We strive for peace and balance and a quiet life. But even we can fall by the wayside at times.

  Too often human beings are too afraid to say things to each other, too afraid to say “I love that about you, it makes me feel….” or “…it is beautiful because…” If people recognised and acknowledged the beauty in others, then they may realise that their self worth and value comes from the inside, not from validation from the outside. A beautiful person can facilitate change and transformation in you, quite unexpectedly, making you into a better, more beautiful person. You, in turn, may go on to be the catalyst of change in someone else and so it goes on.

beautiful

  Beauty is not about how you look or how you physically present yourself to the world. True beauty is bringing out the best in yourself and in others. Be beautiful every day. Celebrate and be content with the small things – the smell of Earl Grey tea on a rainy day, the feeling of warm sand between your toes, the sound of the sea, seeing tiny shoots appear in your pots where there was only bare soil before. New books. Fresh strawberries, incense and wind chimes, the list of things you find beautiful is endless so take time to be mindful of them and express gratitude for the sense of contentment they bring you. 

  Appreciation for the little things is beautiful. Be mindful of them and you will find small oases of peace in the maelstrom of life.

Yours, Always

Imeldra Moonpaw

The Deepening Darkness and the Time of Letting Go

  Greetings, my human friends. It has been a while since I posted a blog but one has been busy and a little frazzled. The old bones are not working as they should and I needed rest after what has been a tumultuous year. But, my dearest friends, the time is coming for us to gather together at Deepening Darkness to feast, to celebrate, and to reflect on all we have done this year. And to reflect on those we have loved and lost.

  Yes, my friends, it has been a year of loss as a dear friend passed peacefully over to the Otherworld in the Summer after a short illness. The Great Mother saw his suffering and took him gently into Her arms and took him home to join the rest of those waiting for us in the Summerlands. I see him in dreams sometimes, healthy and whole, the way he was before old age, sickness and death took him. While I do feel sad he cannot be with us for our Mordrach celebrations, I know he is celebrating with our loved ones beyond the Veil, happy and pain-free. So, Leo, me old friend, we shall raise a tankard or two for you this year. You are dearly missed.

IMG_0185.JPG

 

  And so, as we reflect on all we have done throughout the year, we also look back on the things we could, or maybe should have done. Mordrach is a time of reflection, but also a time of regret; we regret not spending enough time studying, or tending to our everyday tasks, or spending time with friends or family. We may regret harsh words spoken, or words not spoken at all. That ache in the heart not acted upon, or that phrase on the tip of the tongue left unspoken that could have made all the difference in the world to someone without even realising it. The fear of the unknown or how others may react to our declarations of support, love and affection binding us like vines that constrict and then strangle even the strongest of oaks, causing it to whither and die in sorrow and contrition. It is easier to seek forgiveness than permission, but to look back on the things you wish you had done but didn’t can cause one great pain. And it is at the time of Deepening Darkness we have such a long time to reflect on that. A long time indeed.

  The Time of Deepest Darkness is also a time of letting go. As the Black Horse of Winter vanquishes Shamash Sun-Cat, he lets go of his magnificent mane of gold. Light leaves the world and we are left in darkness to contemplate our fate and what is to come. For some, letting go is a much-needed relief – holding on to what does not serve you only causes great harm and suffering to your soul, and to unburden yourself is an act of healing and self-discovery. But for some, letting go is painful. The things we love sometimes need to be let go of if they no longer serve us, or do not wish to stay. It is not for us to hold on to  them for they are not ours to keep; you cannot keep a wild bird in a cage for it is against nature and an act of unkindness. No matter how much you love something, or someone, when they no longer wish to be part of your world, you have to let them go. The seasons turn and life continues, indifferent to the suffering of mortals. We can, but hope, to find a way to regain our strength as Shamash does in spring as his mane of gold grows back to its original magnificence and brings light back to the world.

shamash-sun-cat.jpg

 

As the Old Grimalkin saying goes “it is easier to hold on the the one you hate than to let go of the one you love.”

 

neolitic dolmen England

  But for all we have to let things go, we never stop loving them, be they things or memories or individuals. Sometimes the greatest act of love is to release someone from the binds we may have placed upon them, to free them from the obligation that they need to stay, to be around you out of a sense of guilt or duty. But always try and speak the truth of your heart before doing so because letting someone go before you have spoken your truth can be a burden your soul will have to bear for all your earthly days. Live not with sorrow and regret as I have done. Speak your truth and be not afraid. Follow not the path of one who was too afraid and too proud to do so. Yes, even I can falter and fall by the wayside.

  I hope all who read my blog find peace and happiness at this uncertain time. I am sorry it wasn’t full of Yuletide cheer but, like all things, happiness comes with a measure of sorrow and there are times when we have to experience that sad times to appreciate the good ones.

Healing Blessings to you all,

Your Friend

Imeldra.

Forgiveness – Only Give the Gift When it is Earned.

The Great Mother Goddess understands that Grimalkins have emotional complexities and, as such, limitations on what they can and can’t accept from others. The subject of forgiveness is one that is never forced upon a creature for there is the understanding that some wounds are too deep for healing.

Forgiveness1

  While forgiveness is a merciful and noble act, it should never be used against a creature who has been wronged most grievously simply to make others feel better about a situation they feel uncomfortable about. Forgiveness is a highly personal issue and a choice only the Grimalkin concerned can make after some long and serious consideration. While some find it easy to forgive, others find it difficult. Those who find forgiveness testing should be treat with kindness and patience; their stories may be sad and they may wish not to discuss them with others. No-one can judge a Grimalkin who chooses not to forgive as one does not know of their circumstances.

Forgiveness must never just be granted without these three things:

  • Recognition – the wrongdoer must recognise they have done wrong.
  • Remorse – the wrongdoer must show genuine remorse for their actions.
  • Restoration – the wrongdoer must show willing to put right the wrong and be genuine about it.

 

forgiveness

  Grimalkins are not bound by social pressure to forgive; it is entirely up to the individual. Much damage can be done when one is pressured into forgiveness by others who want things to be made easier for them because they believe the situation will be resolved that way, and all will be well – for them, and not for the Grimalkin who is being pressured to forgive. That is not how true forgiveness works. Forgiveness has to be earned.

  To force someone to forgive and then berate them for not doing so is a terrible thing, a cruel thing. When a creature has been through much toil, they need time to heal and set their thoughts and feelings on the right path again. Much hurt and damage can be caused by those around them who say “if you don’t forgive you can’t move on” and other such falsehoods. One will never move on if one lies to oneself and does something against the wishes of one’s own heart. If the other party has not earned forgiveness, then do not forgive. Do not feel guilty about it. Be sure in your convictions. Do not let others make you feel bad because they do not understand your heart. If they do not understand your toil and despair, then they are at fault. It is a problem they must realise and confront. Let go of the guilt you may feel and do what you know is right.

Forgiveness is a gift to be given to those who truly deserve it and who have earned it otherwise the wrongdoer will never know the value of forgiveness themselves and may never change their behaviour.

forgive