Greetings, my human friends. February is, as they say, the coldest month and, as Imbolc approaches, you may be forgiven for thinking it is a false dawn. While the snowdrops and crocuses may be peering out from the frosty ground, the dark days are not yet over for this is a kind of no-man’s land between winter and spring. The plants and the flowers may want to emerge but the winter is still clinging to all things living. It is a tough time for all beings.
For some, the winter is a difficult time. For those living in the north, the lack of sunlight may be having an affect of their mental and physical well-being. The world is in a curious state of upheaval and no-one seems to know when or how it will all end. But we can only do the best we can with what we have and forge ahead with both optimism and realism for I sense that things have not yet settled into their new places yet.
The Shift has been something of a life-changing event for some. In some cases, life events have forced individuals into a realisation that their old ways of thinking, feeling and doing are no longer working for them. Old programmes and patterns of behaviours were limiting, restricting, suffocating. A sudden shift in awareness perhaps allowed them to break free of those patterns and enabled them to say and do things they would never have said or done before due to ego or fear. Moving beyond those things is a huge step into becoming the person (or Grimalkin) you are meant to be and this can have a snowball effect. But make no mistake – this sudden awakening is not always rainbows and starlight and Buddhist chants. It can, and does, alter your life to the point of no return. It will turn your life upside down.
Waking up means you see things differently, see people differently, see situations differently. You may have followed one pattern of behaviour only to wake up the next day and think “hang on, this no longer makes sense.” But the difference is you know WHY it no longer makes sense. You begin to question everything and everyone. You analyse and pick apart everything, every relationship in your life and ask yourself “Does this make me happy? Is this working for me? Where am I going? Why am I stuck and how can I get myself unstuck?” The Higher Self WANTS you to wake up, to change and make your life better because it is what you are meant to be doing. But this process also brings with it loss, disappointment and sometimes heartbreak when we realise that those around us are not who we thought they were, or are with us because it is convenient, or the job you have is only a security blanket that you cling to because you are afraid of spreading your wings and showing your true light to the world, or the values you have no longer fit in with the values you see on television, or in the papers, or on line, or in the world in general. Everything seems so out of place. YOU seem out of place. It is disorientating and frustrating and can drive you crazy. But remember- you are in your rightful place and time. Right now.
Yes, waking up can be devastating. You will inevitably lose the things you love and, like the no-man’s land we are in before the spring, can be a frightening and uncertain time as we are letting go of the old life with no lifebuoy to hold on to. As such, we can feel as though we are drowning. Leaving a job because you know it is detrimental to your health and well-being is terrifying – how will you pay the bills? How will you manage? Will the ideas I have for my own business work? What if I fail? They are all questions that will do circuits around your head, keeping you trapped in fear.
Leaving behind people you once loved is probably the hardest of all. Your shift in consciousness almost always brings truth and sometimes that truth is painful. It is hard because for the longest time you thought those people would always be around, always be part of your life, always share your greatest achievements and your deepest despair. But when you wake up, you will sometimes see that it was not always the case; that those you thought cared the most about, never cared or wanted to be part of your life after all, or that those who you thought you could rely on walked away when you needed them most. It leaves you feeling bereft. Empty. Left with a feeling of nowhere to go.
The most painful part of all of the awakening process is the perception that you lied to yourself. This is not the case. You believed in the best of people; you acted on the knowledge you had at the time. Forgive yourself for not knowing. Forgive yourself for not being awake. Forgive yourself for caring too much – it is not a crime to love but remember that love is not always returned. It is okay not to feel okay about this. With awakening comes the ability to give love to those who you feel have earned it. You can be wise with your feelings now rather than love blindly and giving freely. Your cup needs to be full before it is offered to others. If you cannot love yourself, then at least accept yourself. It is a start. Meditate. The Great Mother/God/Universe/your Higher Self has love for everyone. More than enough. Ask and you shall receive with abundance.
The Dark Time is also a time of healing so if anyone is feeling the effects of loss because of their awakening, please know it will not last. The colours will return to the world, the scents of the flowers will come back more fragrant than before. Remember, with awakening comes enlightenment so, like the spring, new things will grow and flourish. Allow the old things to die to make room for new life and new opportunities. Make room for those who want to stand by your side and let go of those who do not. Life is too short and time to precious. You have to make life happen for yourself despite the heartache this process may have caused. But this is a necessary process – it is almost like a waking death only for you to be transformed into something better on the other side. Allow yourself to be reborn wiser and more knowledgeable and spiritual than before.
Be mindful that winter doesn’t last forever. Be kind to yourself in this dark time. Heal, spend time with trusted friends or your animal friends. Hand all your cares, worries and woes over to the Great Mother, God, the Universe or the creator of your understanding. It is all part of the soul’s journey to a better you.
Brightest Blessings in these Dark Days